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I can't talk to my husband

I have been married for nine years but I still don’t feel able to talk openly about intimate things to my husband. He’s just as bad as me because his parents were very conservative and strict.

It’s not that I don’t care for him — in fact I love him very much. I just wish we could get over this barrier that exists between us.

Whenever I try to talk about our marriage, our children or even our sex life (which isn’t bad) I just clam up and can't force the words out. What's wrong with us? RC


Many people are unable to voice their feelings. This is a shame as it means small grievances, irritations or fears are locked away to grow and gnaw at the edges of an otherwise happy relationship.

If you can talk to each other then you're more than halfway to solving any problem, no matter how serious.

Start the ball rolling with a simple question: “Why do you think we seem unable to talk to each other more easily?”

Even if there isn't a problem at the moment, try to start the process before any issues arise.

If you find that things still don't improve it may be that you'll need outside help. I suggest you contact Relate — you'll find their contact number in your local phone book.

Belfast Telegraph