Belfast Telegraph

I don’t like my husband seeing his former wife

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

My husband’s ex-wife lives nearby and their two teenage sons often spend time with us. I don’t mind this; it’s good fun.

What I do resent is that my husband keeps nipping round to his ex-wife’s house to do minor repairs when she can’t cope.

He says that he doesn't mind doing these jobs, but surely she should be able to learn how to do them for herself? GL

FIONA SAYS: DON’T FORCE THE ISSUE

I can understand your anxiety but I think you are asking too much of your husband not to feel some responsibility towards his ex-wife and her home.

He has two children living there and he wants to be sure they are comfortable and safe.

He may well now be married to you but at some time in his life, he loved this woman enough to marry her and have children. It is not easy, nor healthy, to completely ignore and wipe away such an important part of his previous life.

I also think that it would be a mistake for you to try to force this issue.

The way things stand at present, the children have two supportive parents nearby and this can only be for the good.

If you try to drive a wedge between your husband and his ex-wife, you may well start to sour your own relationship with him.

However, if the boys are teenagers, perhaps it's time they started doing some of the chores. Why not suggest your husband shows his boys how to do some of the jobs? Then he will not have to visit his ex-wife quite so often.

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