I have been married very happily for a number of years and I love my husband and son dearly. But I feel terribly guilty about what is really a completely platonic relationship with a man at work.
It started off with an occasional drink at lunchtime then this moved to after work.
It was never anything more than a drink but he made me laugh so much.
I don’t know why, but I felt I had to lie about it to my husband.
Then, the other evening, the man told me of all the problems he has been having with his wife and I started to think that perhaps he wanted more from me.
I don’t want to stop seeing him as a friend because I really enjoy his company, but I feel I ought to tell him we must stop seeing each other anymore. CG
FIONA SAYS: ‘AFFAIR’ NEEDS TO STOP
There are many women, happily married, who get caught in a trap like this.
When it started I'm sure you had no thoughts at all about being unfaithful to your husband.
Having gone a long way down the road of friendship with this man, the realisation that perhaps he wants more is bound to shock you.
Inevitably, you now feel it's hard to get yourself out of the situation.
The ‘affair’ (and that's what it is now you are seeing each other on a one-to-one basis rather than with a crowd) needs to be stopped before it's too late.
Hard though it may be, it is often easiest to make a clean break. Tell him that while you like him as a friend there is nothing more to it and you feel it's better for your marriage to call things to a halt.
After that, be platonic at work but nothing at all outside it. No more meetings, no more phone calls.