Belfast Telegraph

I feel like I am under pressure to get pregnant

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

My husband and I have been married for three years now and we started trying for children almost straight away.

However, we’ve had no success in all this time and we’ve seen a doctor, who is sending us for help.

We desperately want children and are prepared to work with the medics to try and make it happen, but we’re realistic too.

The big problem is my parents, who keep talking about wanting grandchildren. My mum, especially, keeps asking me what I’m going to do about it and has even suggested one of us may be infertile.

I’ve told her that grandchildren may not be on the agenda, but she got very cross and said I was being selfish. What can I do or say to help them understand that having children is not always possible? CP


I am surprised that you haven't simply told your mother the truth about the problems you are having. You might find that she and your father are a lot more sympathetic than you seem to imagine.

For some people, unfortunately infertility is something that they have to face up to and that applies to prospective grandparents as well.

When children choose not to have children of their own, some parents do see it as a rejection of the life they have led.

This may be the background to your mother's comment about selfishness, but don't take it to heart. Talk to your parents and explain everything. They might be sad to hear that there may be no grandchildren but they will, I am sure, understand perfectly well.

Consider contacting the Infertility Network who can offer support, advice and suggestions you may not have thought of.

Belfast Telegraph


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