Dear Fiona, The minute a guy shows he’s really into me I start treating him like dirt and run a mile. I think it’s creepy or he’s desperate to like me when he obviously doesn’t know what I’m really like.
It even happens when I’ve fancied a guy for ages.
Is this normal?
Fiona, North Belfast
It might be ‘normal’ for those who need the reward of securing the prize or those with extremely low self-esteem but otherwise not.
Gaining someone’s affection/adulation boosts their failing self-image but they abandon ship when the same prize attempts to establish a deeper emotional connection and uncover their real self. Why would a guy have to be desperate or creepy to like you early in a relationship?
It’s often impossible for individuals with low self-esteem to comprehend that anyone could appreciate the ‘real’ them and so they feel contempt because it clashes with their own self-evaluation.