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I tend to treat men like filth

Dear Fiona, The minute a guy shows he’s really into me I start treating him like dirt and run a mile. I think it’s creepy or he’s desperate to like me when he obviously doesn’t know what I’m really like.

It even happens when I’ve fancied a guy for ages.

Is this normal?

Fiona, North Belfast

Dear Fiona,

It might be ‘normal’ for those who need the reward of securing the prize or those with extremely low self-esteem but otherwise not.

Gaining someone’s affection/adulation boosts their failing self-image but they abandon ship when the same prize attempts to establish a deeper emotional connection and uncover their real self. Why would a guy have to be desperate or creepy to like you early in a relationship?

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It’s often impossible for individuals with low self-esteem to comprehend that anyone could appreciate the ‘real’ them and so they feel contempt because it clashes with their own self-evaluation.

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