Belfast Telegraph

I want to confront husband's mistress

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

I am confused, upset and very unhappy and just don’t know what to do for the best.

My husband is having an affair, although he says he loves me and wants to be with me.

He says the girl will not let him finish with her, saying she will kill herself if he does. He says he doesn’t know what to do for the best either, and is sorry he got involved with her.

She seems unstable but I think I should confront her myself and make her see sense.

He isn’t keen that I should do this but says if that’s what I feel I must do he will go along with it.

I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do or not. TC

FIONA SAYS: TACKLE WHY HE STRAYED IN THE FIRST PLACE

Have you thought about why your husband had an affair in the first place?

It sounds as if he is quite a weak man and I wonder if he was attracted to an emotionally unstable woman because it made him feel stronger.

Now this affair has got out of hand and he's almost willing for you to clear up the mess.

However, if you do, you will either be boosting his ego as the two of you fight over him or else he'll feel weaker still as he is so reliant on you.

I do wonder if this is why your husband strayed in the first place and that, I think, is what you and him should be tackling together.

Contact Relate or another marriage counselling service to get to the root of the problem in your relationship.

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