Belfast Telegraph

I’m being bullied by horrid man at work

Northern Ireland's number one agony aunt Fiona Hurley answers your problems

Dear Fiona, I’ve just started a new job and one man I work with has taken a real dislike to me for no reason.

I’m tall, blonde and big-chested but I don’t dress provocatively and I’m educated to degree level.

He speaks to me as if I’m simple and I dread going to work. What can it be and what should I do because it’s upsetting?


Dear E,

Transference occurs when we instantly make judgements of others based on a mental database of stereotypes, archetypal images and historical interactions with others.

This enables us to predict what will happen in any given situation. It’s a flawed process which doesn’t always allow for individual differentiation.

Inaccurate assumptions can be made, unfair comparisons can be drawn, conclusions jumped to and relationships strangled at birth. Maybe it’s projection whereby we identify unfavourable traits in others that exist within ourselves but we’re denying.

You should rise above this or maybe start studying the jobs vacant guides.

Belfast Telegraph


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