Is six weeks too soon to move in together?
Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.
I couldn’t have been more surprised when six weeks ago I met a really nice man after replying to a lonely hearts ad. He is divorced, like me, and he’d also just about given up on ever finding a new partner.
We really enjoy each other’s company and he makes me feel alive again.
He’s in his early seventies and I’m 68. He wants us to get married straight away because, he says, at our age there is no point in waiting.
He says he will understand if all I want to do at this stage is move in with him, though.
I’m ready to do so and feel really positive about the future, but I am worried about giving up my own home in case things don’t work out.
At the same time, I don’t want to pass up the chance of a new life with him. Am I right to wait or should I just go for it? SD
FIONA SAYS: WHAT’S THE RUSH?
While I understand that this relationship has put some sparkle back in your life, you have only known this man for a few weeks.
You've had very little time to reach such an important decision that will affect the rest of your life.
But, if you keep your home and your relationship hits a bad patch, will you be more inclined to walk away?
I quite understand his point of view about not waiting, but do you really have to rush?
Why not spend your time together in each other's homes for a little while — a week at your place, a week at his.
Then, when you feel more sure of each other, you can make a decision about where you will live.
The property you do choose to live in should be put into your joint names so that the other will have an enduring right to continue living there.
You've both been divorced before and it would be very sad if you made another mistake.
So, take your time and, if his feelings for you are genuine, I'm sure he'll understand why you want to be certain.