My husband got a letter the other day and, after opening it, he seemed upset and left it lying on the table and went out.
I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I read it. I’m still in shock as it was a letter from a solicitor about gambling debts.
Apparently he owes a fortune — far more than we can afford to pay and they are threatening to prosecute him.
What makes it worse is that I didn’t even know he gambled. How do I get him to talk about this? JA
FIONA SAYS: COME CLEAN AND SUPPORT HIM
Leaving the letter lying about and going out could have been his way of telling you about the mess he's got himself into.
I think the best thing now is for you to come clean and tell him you've read it.
It is sad that communication is so poor between the two of you that he wasn't able to talk before, but it's not too late.
Make sure he knows that you love him and don't want to lose him and that you want to tackle the problem with him.
He will need help to get his gambling under control, so I would suggest he considers Gamblers Anonymous (gamblersanonymous.org.uk).
It's a self-help group for people who want to tackle their gambling problem and Gam-Anon (that often holds meetings at the same time) is for their families.
Gam-Anon's website (gamanon.org.uk) has advice and support that you might well find helpful.
Your husband's debt will have to be repaid and you might want to consider a debt counselling service. For example, the Consumer Credit Counselling Service (cccs.co.uk or call 0800 138 1111) has a debt management plan you could use.
The company your husband owes money to may be prepared to give him time to pay if he approaches it with a reasonable offer