Belfast Telegraph

I've too much going on

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

There is so much going on in my life at the moment that I don't know which way to turn. My mum is very depressed — it's something she's suffered from for years but she's going through a bad patch since my dad retired.

My sister is making things worse because she blames my mother's depression on problems we had as children and will not help.

My dad, who used to be really active, just sits in front of the TV and hardly speaks to anyone — other than to say he’s done his bit and wants a rest.

On top of all this, I've been having problems with my partner, who I don’t think respects me enough.

I sometimes feel so angry with him that I think about leaving him, but his mum has just been diagnosed with cancer and he's obviously worried about her.

The silly thing is, his ex-wife is quite happy to divorce and he keeps saying it's just a case of sorting out the papers — but he still doesn’t do it! MA


It sounds as if you are trying to take responsibility for everyone and everything — and this is coming out in anxiety about your relationship.

If your sister and your father will not help you with your mother, then stop expecting it from them — ignore them and let them manage for themselves.

Your partner may or may not respect you but I suspect it's simply a case of him being too lazy (and, at present, too pre-occupied) to worry about it.

You need to let him know that this is important to you and try to explain why.

If he understands how important this is to you, maybe he'll be more willing to do something about it.

Then, finally, take some time out for you — to do something you want to do that takes you away from everyone else's issues and concerns. Make sure you timetable it in to your week and ensure that you do it — it's “you” time, away from everyone else and their pressures.

Belfast Telegraph


From Belfast Telegraph