Belfast Telegraph

My parents are always putting me down

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem

I was pretty awful as a teenager and I’m sure I drove my parents mad.

I had what they considered “unsuitable” boyfriends and, after endless rows, I left home at 17 and never went back until three years ago.

By then I’d made a life for myself and now have a lovely husband and family.

My parents want to see more of us but whenever we visit they insist on telling my husband how terrible I was as a teenager.

They are forever putting me down and I really don’t see why I should put up with this, but my husband thinks the kids should see their grandparents.

I don’t feel like going, though. GW


If they are deliberately trying to hurt you, then I don't see that you have any obligation to keep visiting. It's not good for your children to see you being disparaged in this way either.

However, are you sure it's deliberate? They could be very proud of the person you've become and harp back to the past to emphasise how much you've changed.

Visit them without your husband and children and tell them how you feel. Explain that you've moved on and that you want them to do so too. If after that they won't stop their comments, then that’s the time to think about stopping visits.

Belfast Telegraph


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