Belfast Telegraph

Should ex's friends be on my side?

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

My husband's adultery with a woman half his age resulted in a very messy, unpleasant divorce that's taken me a long time to recover from.

I now have a new life and new friends, and the only link with my previous life is with a couple who were originally friends of my husband.

I wouldn't see them at all if I were not godmother to two of their children. My ex and his girlfriend still visit and I've decided I just can't accept this.

Either they should take my side or his.

Do you think they'd understand if I wrote and told them so? PV

FIONA SAYS: PUT THE PAST BEHIND YOU

While your friends might understand your feelings, I'm sure they would be sad.

For three years they've tried to tread a difficult path — not taking sides and staying friends with you both.

That's a hard thing to do, and it must mean they value your friendship a lot.

They wouldn't have worked so hard if they didn't care and I think you would be losing a lot if you threw that away.

It would be just one more thing your ex-husband has taken from you.

You might find it easier to see them less often, but try not to close the door completely.

Accepting changed relationships like this one is all a part of moving on and putting your sad past behind you, where it belongs.

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