Belfast Telegraph

Should I confront husband's lover?

Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.

My husband is having an affair. He says he loves me but that the ‘other’ woman is very unstable and has threatened suicide if he leaves her.

This leaves me confused and unhappy and I think I should confront her and make her give him up.

Do you think this would work? LL

FIONA SAYS: NO, HE NEEDS TO END THE AFFAIR

Your husband is allowing himself to be emotionally blackmailed — or at least it suits him to let you think so.

If you tackle her about it, then he will see himself as some kind of ‘prize’ with two women fighting over him.

If he is a weak man who has just allowed himself to get into this situation, then you ‘sorting things out’ for him will just emphasise his weakness.

That could be the reason he strayed in the first place.

You and your husband need to sort out the problems you have together — finding out what prompted the affair and putting that right.

And he needs to show his love for you by being strong and ending the affair, however much she may threaten and complain.

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