Should I take my violent husband back?
Fiona Caine is here to help if you have a relationship, sexual, marriage or family problem.
I’m feeling a failure because my third husband and I have recently separated.
How can I make so many mistakes in my life? My first marriage, at 18, lasted four years. It broke up because we grew so far apart.
My second marriage lasted 11 years but all that time he was having affairs and he finally left me four years ago.
I was very down after that happened and perhaps I was vulnerable when I met my present husband.
I knew he liked a drink but I didn’t realise just how much. He smashed up my home on a number of occasions.
Although we are living apart my husband is begging me to take him back and swears he will change. I am torn because I’m so lonely and half feel I should give it a try. However, if I do, I am terrified of what could happen if he doesn’t change. SS
FIONA SAYS: DON’T RUSH INTO A REUNION
You may have made some mistakes in your past but don't make even more by blaming yourself for things outside your control. Mistakes can be learned from and if you use them properly, they can help you to make a success of your future. It may be tempting to take your ex-husband back but don't do so just because you think you can't cope alone.
You need to be sure you really love this man to put up with his problems.
Instead, why not concentrate on all the things you have — your home, your independence and, if you are prepared to grasp it, your freedom. You might even learn to enjoy not having a husband around.