| 17.3°C Belfast

Why son stopped contacting me?

My son emigrated to Australia just over two years ago with his Australian wife and baby boy.

He sent me three letters and phoned me twice within about nine months of his leaving but, since then, I’ve only had one phone call. I write to him once a fortnight even if I don’t have much to say.

I always thought his wife wasn’t the right person for him — she always seemed a bit toffee-nosed to me and, when they lived in the UK, she always had a good reason why she couldn’t visit me.

I can't help it, but I do resent the way that she has taken my only son so far from me and made him so totally unaware that we still exist. What can I do? WM


I suspect that your son and his family aren't being deliberately hurtful, just thoughtless.

It's always hard to accept when your children move away, but they are probably so busy and forward-looking that they simply forget to keep in touch.

So how can you improve the situation?

Make your life so busy that, when you do write, you've got so much to talk about that your letters make interesting reading.

Secondly, get yourself a computer — almost certainly your son and his family will have one. Then, rather than a long letter, send a quick note asking for their email address and, once you have it, drop them a quick line once in a while.

Make sure you keep your notes warm and address them to both your son and his wife so you don't appear to be showing her any resentment.

If you show them that you are willing to keep up with technology and new ways of keeping in touch, then they might find it easier to do so.

Belfast Telegraph