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Wife’s blaming me for her woes

Dear Fiona, My wife does nothing but criticise me for everything that’s going wrong in her life.

Whether it’s her weight, doing a job she hates, our children acting up, or her feeling unfulfilled, I’m to blame.

You’d think I was a terrible husband but I try my best to make her happy. After 10 years, can anything change?


Dear ST,

Your wife has adopted the role of victim and appointed you as the persecutor but things can definitely change.

Empower yourself by challenging the validity of her comments and criticisms instead of accepting them without questioning.

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Instead of pandering to her needs or offering sympathetic attention, say “Well, you’re unhappy with your weight/job/life so what do you intend to do about it?”

Every time she criticises you, point it out and question her real motives for doing it.

You will then realise she’s focusing the blame on you to deflect attention away from the inward negativity and helplessness that she actually feels within herself.

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