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Will my mum be upset if I visit my estranged dad?

My parents divorced when I was six and since then I haven’t seen my dad.

My mum always said he was a gambler and had a drink problem — she didn’t want to see him and didn’t want me to either.

I went along with this but now I’m 16 I am beginning to question some of the things she’s said about him.

For example, I don’t remember him being aggressive to her or to me.

I have recently found out where he lives and also discovered that he has just lost his wife.

I would like to go and talk to him but I don’t know how he would react or how my mum would feel if she found out. TC


This is a delicate situation and I am surprised that you have not seen your father for such a long time. Normally, the courts are keen for a child to have a relationship with both parents.

Perhaps your father didn't want to have anything to do with you after he left or perhaps it was decided that it was too dangerous for you to see him.

Whatever the reason, I think you need to be careful.

Ideally, I think you should see your father so that you can at least form your own opinions of him.

Be prepared for all sorts of possibilities, including that you may dislike him.

I think it would be wise to tell your mother what you are going to do before making contact, just in case there is anything you need to know.

If you do go and see him, it may be wise to tell her as little as possible about the meeting to avoid upsetting her further

Belfast Telegraph