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Frank Carson: 85 of his best jokes

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1. There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.

1. There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.

Colm Lenaghan

2. Paddy is woken in the middle of the night by a phone call. The caller says: 'Is that Dublin 22 33 22?' Paddy says,:'No it's Dublin 223 322!' The caller apologises for waking him in the middle of the night, Paddy says: 'Oh it's all right I had to get up to answer the phone anyhow!'

2. Paddy is woken in the middle of the night by a phone call. The caller says: 'Is that Dublin 22 33 22?' Paddy says,:'No it's Dublin 223 322!' The caller apologises for waking him in the middle of the night, Paddy says: 'Oh it's all right I had to get up to answer the phone anyhow!'

3. A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp." The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps." He says: "There's one in the window."

3. A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp." The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps." He says: "There's one in the window."

Lewis Whyld

4. A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife."

4. A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife."

John Stillwell

5. A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you’ve only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can you do something for me?" "Yes," he said. "I'll boil you an egg."

5. A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you’ve only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can you do something for me?" "Yes," he said. "I'll boil you an egg."

6. I rang British Telecom. I said: "I want to report a nuisance caller." The voice on the other end said: "Not you again."

6. I rang British Telecom. I said: "I want to report a nuisance caller." The voice on the other end said: "Not you again."

PA

7. A man says to the doctor: "What's the good news?" "You've got 24 hours to live." He says: "What's the bad news?" The doctor says: "We should have told you yesterday."

7. A man says to the doctor: "What's the good news?" "You've got 24 hours to live." He says: "What's the bad news?" The doctor says: "We should have told you yesterday."

8. My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

8. My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

John Stillwell

9. My wife said to me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?" I said: "Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."

9. My wife said to me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?" I said: "Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."

John Harrison

10. A man's hurt in an accident with a vacuum cleaner. I phoned hospital to see how he was. Nurse said: "He's picking up."

10. A man's hurt in an accident with a vacuum cleaner. I phoned hospital to see how he was. Nurse said: "He's picking up."

11. My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."

11. My wife went into the butchers and said: "You've a sheep's head in your window." The butcher said: "That's a mirror."

Ross Land

12. An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.

12. An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.

Trevor Martin.

13. Dear Son, I hope you are having fun in Australia. I am sending you three socks as your telegram said you've grown another foot.

13. Dear Son, I hope you are having fun in Australia. I am sending you three socks as your telegram said you've grown another foot.

Jon Buckle

14. There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches.

14. There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches.

15.  I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer.

15. I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer.

David Davies

16. Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: "Have a drink on me." The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.

16. Frank once slipped something into the pocket of a luggage handler at the airport and said: "Have a drink on me." The luggage handler later found out it was a tea bag.

Johnny Green

17. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"

17. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Adam Davy

18. A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."

18. A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."

19. A man walks into B&Q. He says: "I want some nails." The shop worker says: "How long do you want them?" The man says: "I want to keep them."

19. A man walks into B&Q. He says: "I want some nails." The shop worker says: "How long do you want them?" The man says: "I want to keep them."

20. I once did 20 pantomimes in a row. Someone asked, "Is that a record?" I said: "No, it's me speaking."

20. I once did 20 pantomimes in a row. Someone asked, "Is that a record?" I said: "No, it's me speaking."

Ian West

21. A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."

21. A man turns to the guy next to him who's covered in bandages from head to toe and asks "What happened?". "I fell through a glass window," explains the man. The first man says: "Lucky you were wearing all those bandages."

Belfast Telegraph

22. A man walks into Glasgow baker and asks: "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?" Baker: "No, you're right, it's a doughnut."

22. A man walks into Glasgow baker and asks: "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?" Baker: "No, you're right, it's a doughnut."

Dave Thompson

23. Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.

23. Men only go for skinny women because they're too weak to argue - and salads are cheap.

24. A girl asks her doctor, "Doctor, I've forgotten to take my contradictory pill!" The doctor says: "Are you ignorant?" The girl says: "Yes, three months!"

24. A girl asks her doctor, "Doctor, I've forgotten to take my contradictory pill!" The doctor says: "Are you ignorant?" The girl says: "Yes, three months!"

Tim Ireland

25. I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

25. I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

26. My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

26. My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

Peter Byrne

27. What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg? You let the Rottweiler finish.

27. What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a poodle peeing on your leg? You let the Rottweiler finish.

Gloucestershire Police

28. I went to an old people's home. I asked an old lady with a Zimmer frame. "Do you know who I am?" She replied, "Ask the Matron, she'll tell you."

28. I went to an old people's home. I asked an old lady with a Zimmer frame. "Do you know who I am?" She replied, "Ask the Matron, she'll tell you."

29. What's the difference between a terrorist and your wife? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

29. What's the difference between a terrorist and your wife? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Chris Young

30. Woman: "I can't go out with you Frank, I'm a lesbian." Frank: "Oh really? What part of Lesbia are you from?"

30. Woman: "I can't go out with you Frank, I'm a lesbian." Frank: "Oh really? What part of Lesbia are you from?"

Katie Collins

31. My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

31. My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

Andy Butterton

32. A man saw me with my Thermos flask and asked me what it was for. "It keeps food hot but it can also keep food cold," I said. The next day I saw him with one and asked what was in it. "Soup and ice cream," he said.

32. A man saw me with my Thermos flask and asked me what it was for. "It keeps food hot but it can also keep food cold," I said. The next day I saw him with one and asked what was in it. "Soup and ice cream," he said.

33. Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

33. Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

John Giles

34. When the Pope asked him if he had ever met Elvis Presley, Carson replied: "No I have not but it won't be long now."

34. When the Pope asked him if he had ever met Elvis Presley, Carson replied: "No I have not but it won't be long now."

35. Remember that boat the Marie Celeste when everyone disappeared? They found out why, Cannon and Ball were doing the cabaret.

35. Remember that boat the Marie Celeste when everyone disappeared? They found out why, Cannon and Ball were doing the cabaret.

Gareth Copley

36. I'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting my suitcase closed.

36. I'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting my suitcase closed.

37. The council in Blackpool have given the homeless bus passes, but how would they know where to get off?

37. The council in Blackpool have given the homeless bus passes, but how would they know where to get off?

Martin Rickett

38. I was coming out of Euston Station the other day, it was pouring down with rain and a man was sitting with a cap out for money and a sign saying 'Falklands war victim.' We are giving a thousand pounds a week to that man with the metal hook Hamza, remember him? There's a guy that risked his life for his country begging, it's disgusting so I threw £20 into his cap and he said, "Gracias, senor." That's a cracker!

38. I was coming out of Euston Station the other day, it was pouring down with rain and a man was sitting with a cap out for money and a sign saying 'Falklands war victim.' We are giving a thousand pounds a week to that man with the metal hook Hamza, remember him? There's a guy that risked his life for his country begging, it's disgusting so I threw £20 into his cap and he said, "Gracias, senor." That's a cracker!

Steve Parsons

39. I hate name droppers. I just said that to the Duke of Edinburgh this morning on the phone.

39. I hate name droppers. I just said that to the Duke of Edinburgh this morning on the phone.

Leon Neal

40. I was playing golf with Christy O'Connor and Sean Connery a few weeks ago. Sean hit a ball out of bounds, he said: "I'll hit a provisional" and I said, "What, and get yourself kneecapped?" The next thing I know was Christy junior starts telling the same joke and I said "Where'd you hear that joke?" He said: "Connery is doing the rounds with it."

40. I was playing golf with Christy O'Connor and Sean Connery a few weeks ago. Sean hit a ball out of bounds, he said: "I'll hit a provisional" and I said, "What, and get yourself kneecapped?" The next thing I know was Christy junior starts telling the same joke and I said "Where'd you hear that joke?" He said: "Connery is doing the rounds with it."

Danny Lawson

41. I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.

41. I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.

Anthony Devlin

42. What about the political situation today? All that money the Government wants, they're taking money off us anyway for driving our cars, then they're charging us for driving on the motorways. What about taxing bicycles, caravans, shoes? Can you imagine, shoes for sale, one owner only, only 27,000 miles on the laces.

42. What about the political situation today? All that money the Government wants, they're taking money off us anyway for driving our cars, then they're charging us for driving on the motorways. What about taxing bicycles, caravans, shoes? Can you imagine, shoes for sale, one owner only, only 27,000 miles on the laces.

Geoff Caddick

43. A guy walked into the pub with a cocker spaniel and I said: "No dogs allowed". He said: "You allow guide dogs." I said: "Yes but they are either Alsatians or Labradors." He said, "Ah s***, what have they given me?"

43. A guy walked into the pub with a cocker spaniel and I said: "No dogs allowed". He said: "You allow guide dogs." I said: "Yes but they are either Alsatians or Labradors." He said, "Ah s***, what have they given me?"

Guide Dogs for the Blind

44. I was shot in Palestine in 1947 and I went to see Pope John Paul after being awarded the highest honour in the Roman Catholic Church, the Knighthood of St Gregory for my charity work over the last 34 years. I said to John Paul: "We've one thing in common, we've both been shot. If you see John Wayne, tell him it hurts."

44. I was shot in Palestine in 1947 and I went to see Pope John Paul after being awarded the highest honour in the Roman Catholic Church, the Knighthood of St Gregory for my charity work over the last 34 years. I said to John Paul: "We've one thing in common, we've both been shot. If you see John Wayne, tell him it hurts."

PA

45. There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

45. There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

Unknown

46. A fella said to me: "Your mother-in-law has just died, do you want her embalmed, buried or cremated?" I said: "Take no chances, give her the lot."

46. A fella said to me: "Your mother-in-law has just died, do you want her embalmed, buried or cremated?" I said: "Take no chances, give her the lot."

Belfast Telegraph

47. The very first joke I told on The Comedians was: I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours." I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas."

47. The very first joke I told on The Comedians was: I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours." I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas."

Mark Keppler

48. I've had a pacemaker fitted and every morning I come out there's a fella that runs in front of me.

48. I've had a pacemaker fitted and every morning I come out there's a fella that runs in front of me.

Dave Thompson

49. I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."

49. I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."

Ian West

50. I was in a bar in Taiwan and a guy came up and asked for my autograph. I was signing a menu and a fella came up from behind the bar and asked, "Why you write on menu?" I told him he's seen me on the television and the fella asked: "What you do golf, football, rugby?" I said no, "I'm a comedian", he said "Oh, let me see you change colour."

50. I was in a bar in Taiwan and a guy came up and asked for my autograph. I was signing a menu and a fella came up from behind the bar and asked, "Why you write on menu?" I told him he's seen me on the television and the fella asked: "What you do golf, football, rugby?" I said no, "I'm a comedian", he said "Oh, let me see you change colour."

FENNELLS

51. I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: "We are two hours late Mr Carson." When I asked why, she said: "The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it."

51. I just want to apologise for being late. I was flying back from Spain and the air hostess said: "We are two hours late Mr Carson." When I asked why, she said: "The pilot has heard a funny noise in the engine that he doesn't like, so we are waiting on another pilot who can't hear it."

Steve Parsons

52. A fella won £9m in the lottery, and the guy from the lottery asked: "What is it you do for a living?" "I'm a cleaner," the winner said. The lottery man said: "I'm sure you won't be doing that any more." The fella said: "No that's me redundant for life." The lottery man asked: "What is it your wife does?" He replied: "She's my supervisor." The lottery man said "I suppose she won't be doing that any more?" He asked: "Has she won £9m as well?"

52. A fella won £9m in the lottery, and the guy from the lottery asked: "What is it you do for a living?" "I'm a cleaner," the winner said. The lottery man said: "I'm sure you won't be doing that any more." The fella said: "No that's me redundant for life." The lottery man asked: "What is it your wife does?" He replied: "She's my supervisor." The lottery man said "I suppose she won't be doing that any more?" He asked: "Has she won £9m as well?"

Dave Thompson

53. There's a professor who's crossed chickens with spiders, and he has ended up with a chicken with eight legs. I asked him: "What do they taste like?" He said: "I don't know I haven't been able to catch one yet."

53. There's a professor who's crossed chickens with spiders, and he has ended up with a chicken with eight legs. I asked him: "What do they taste like?" He said: "I don't know I haven't been able to catch one yet."

Chris Radburn

54. An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."

54. An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."

David Cheskin

55. I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."

55. I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."

56. A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."

56. A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."

Clara Molden

57. I was at a cash dispenser the other day and a man and wife were in front of me and he punched her. I went over and said: "You villain, how dare you punch a lady, why you should only punch men." I can't remember anything after that.

57. I was at a cash dispenser the other day and a man and wife were in front of me and he punched her. I went over and said: "You villain, how dare you punch a lady, why you should only punch men." I can't remember anything after that.

MAGDALENA MAYO

58. I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.

58. I've been married to my wife for 60 years but it feels just like yesterday, and you know what a bloody awful day yesterday was.

59. I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

59. I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.

Colm Lenaghan

60. I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"

60. I asked a shop owner if he could help me out. He said: "What way did you come in?"

61. At Mike Reid's funeral, Carson said: "We have come to say farewell Mike, you have filled loads of homes with glee, actor, singer, comedian, but you were never as funny as me."

61. At Mike Reid's funeral, Carson said: "We have come to say farewell Mike, you have filled loads of homes with glee, actor, singer, comedian, but you were never as funny as me."

John Stillwell

62. I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.

62. I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.

Clara Molden

63. I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

63. I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

Rui Vieira

64. It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

64. It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

65. A man walked into a shop and asked, "How much are your eggs?" He said "£1.40 a dozen". He then asked: "How much are your cracked ones?" "He said: "35p". He said: "Crack us four dozen."

65. A man walked into a shop and asked, "How much are your eggs?" He said "£1.40 a dozen". He then asked: "How much are your cracked ones?" "He said: "35p". He said: "Crack us four dozen."

66. I said to the landlady at my lodgings in Bolton: "I'd like to talk to you about the ceiling in my bedroom." She said: "What about it?" I said, "I'd like one." She said: "You needn't worry too much, because the people upstairs won't walk about, but they'll drop in now and again."

66. I said to the landlady at my lodgings in Bolton: "I'd like to talk to you about the ceiling in my bedroom." She said: "What about it?" I said, "I'd like one." She said: "You needn't worry too much, because the people upstairs won't walk about, but they'll drop in now and again."

Simon Graham/Harrison Photograph

67. If only the Irish had invented the Venetian blind it would be curtains for all of you.

67. If only the Irish had invented the Venetian blind it would be curtains for all of you.

John Giles

68. The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.

68. The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.

69. A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. "Oh dear," she says, "Not the breathalyser again."

69. A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. "Oh dear," she says, "Not the breathalyser again."

70. Do you remember those two terrible winters we had? Mike and Bernie.

70. Do you remember those two terrible winters we had? Mike and Bernie.

71. I'll have a pint of Guinness and a pickled onion in it, an Irish cocktail.

71. I'll have a pint of Guinness and a pickled onion in it, an Irish cocktail.

Julien Behal

72. Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?

72. Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list?

Gary M. Prior

73. Someone once threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins and he drank it!

73. Someone once threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins and he drank it!

Paul Cousans

74. I knew a judge called Justice Thumbs, because he had no fingers.

74. I knew a judge called Justice Thumbs, because he had no fingers.

John Harrison/Harrison Photography

75. Did you know the Irish telephone number for the Samaritans is ex-directory?

75. Did you know the Irish telephone number for the Samaritans is ex-directory?

Chris Radburn

Comedian Frank Carson and wife Ruth

Comedian Frank Carson and wife Ruth

77. I was in Glasgow about 50 years ago and I asked a fella: "Who is the most popular comedian here?" The man said Joe Madely, so I went to the Pavilion and asked a man there who he thought was the best comedian in the world, he also said Joe Madely. I asked: "Have you heard of Frank Carson?" He said, "Yes, he is awful." He asked me if I had heard of Joe Madely and I said no. He then said "I am Joe Madely" and I told him "I am Frank Carson."

77. I was in Glasgow about 50 years ago and I asked a fella: "Who is the most popular comedian here?" The man said Joe Madely, so I went to the Pavilion and asked a man there who he thought was the best comedian in the world, he also said Joe Madely. I asked: "Have you heard of Frank Carson?" He said, "Yes, he is awful." He asked me if I had heard of Joe Madely and I said no. He then said "I am Joe Madely" and I told him "I am Frank Carson."

Andrew Milligan

78. My mother-in-law went to the dentist and had all her teeth out. She was in agony, and said: "Never again."

78. My mother-in-law went to the dentist and had all her teeth out. She was in agony, and said: "Never again."

Andrew Milligan

79. On the death of fellow comic Bernard Manning: "He didn't even spare the nurses. He was complaining that they changed his medication to iron tablets and he woke up facing north."

79. On the death of fellow comic Bernard Manning: "He didn't even spare the nurses. He was complaining that they changed his medication to iron tablets and he woke up facing north."

Gary M. Prior

80. Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: "Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?"

80. Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: "Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?"

81 This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.

81 This is Frank Carson, News at Ten, Sober.

John Harrison.

82.  My son in Australia asked me to send him money. I told him I couldn't as I'd already sealed the envelope.

82. My son in Australia asked me to send him money. I told him I couldn't as I'd already sealed the envelope.

Colm Lenaghan

83. A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.

83. A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.

Ian Nicholson

84. There was an advert in the paper saying 'Boxer dogs for sale' and a member of my golf club rang up and asked: "How many dogs are in a box?"

84. There was an advert in the paper saying 'Boxer dogs for sale' and a member of my golf club rang up and asked: "How many dogs are in a box?"

85. And finally, he wanted written on his tombstone: "It's quiet in here."

85. And finally, he wanted written on his tombstone: "It's quiet in here."

/

1. There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.

We remember Belfast’s funniest man with 85 of his best gags - one for every year of his life.

 

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