Belfast Telegraph

Patrick Kielty slams May's Brexit plan- 'You can buy a pint in Belfast with euros, just not at a same-sex wedding'

Comedian and broadcaster Patrick Kielty has urged British Prime Minister Theresa May to listen to the people of Northern Ireland, and not allow the creation of a new hard border.

Kielty - who ripped apart the vision by the former British foreign secretary Boris Johnson on how the Northern Ireland would look after Brexit - issued the message in a statement to support 'Remain' campaigner Gina Miller.

Ms Miller has brought her 'End The Chaos' tour to Newry on Friday.

In his message of support, Kielty, who is originally from Dundrum, Co Down, delivered another stinging verdict to pronouncements on Northern Ireland made by high profile members of Theresa May's Conservative party in recent days.

Here is the message in full: "Good people of Down, Armagh, Louth, and other counties that haven’t won a Gaelic match in years.

"Last week I politely told Boris Johnson how Brexit will change Northern Ireland (OK, maybe not that politely.

"I’m still waiting for a reply yet he continues to tell people who don’t know what he also doesn’t know.

"He wants them to believe that Brexit will have no effect on lives in Northern Ireland.

"What he actually means is that Northern Ireland will have no effect on his life whatever happens.

"He’s not alone.

"David Davis says we’ve nothing to worry about because you can buy a pint in Belfast with Euros.

"Yes, you can David. Just not at a same sex wedding reception.

"Jacob Rees Mogg wants us to “inspect people at the border” -  Well Jacob, why not come over and give it a go yourself?

"We’d love to see you try to “inspect” a Louth registered cattle van driven by a farmer called Slab. 

"And Theresa May wants us to believe the Northern Irish border can be solved by technology – whilst she remains in bed with the DUP.

"Thankfully people from border counties know the truth.

"They know that the Good Friday Agreement built the peaceful society we have today by allowing Unionists to look to the rest of the UK and Nationalists to look to the rest of Ireland without borders or boundaries.

"They know that agreement was passed by guess what? A referendum.

"And they know that Northern Ireland voted against Brexit.

"So, Prime Minister -  if you really care about Northern Ireland, please listen to what’s being said here today and what people here voted for – not once but twice.

"We don’t want a hard Brexit.

"We don’t want Canada Plus.  Or Northern Ireland Minus.

"We don’t want Chequers. We don’t want checkpoints.

"And we don’t want to take back control of our border. We happily gave that up over 20 years ago to live in peace.

"When we opened our border we also discovered something that you’ve sadly forgotten – the people living on the other side are exactly the same as us.

"That’s why we want to live together as neighbours and friends without people trying to drive us apart.  You should give it a go Mrs. May. It’s called the European Union.

"To all of you here today, have a great session (as in your meeting, not beers).

"Make sure to tone down the accents and speak slowly so those nice people from London can understand you.

"And when you’ve solved the border issue by lunchtime, which in Newry you no doubt will, nip over to the Carrickdale and have a pint for me. It’s only ten minutes up the road – until Brexit.

"Cheers, Patrick Kielty."

Independent.ie

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