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Don't try to kiss the Queen a chinwag will do
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The Queen gets a peck form Duchess of Cornwall ... but don't try this during a Royal walkabout
Steve Parsons
A sticker on a lamppost critical of the state visit to Ireland by the Queen.
Oli Scarff
Princess Elizabeth of York in 1927
The Royal Collection / PA
George V with Queen Mary visiting Ireland in 1911, the last reigning monarchs to visit.Queen Victoria visiting Dublin in 1900
A poster is seen on a lamp post in advance of the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh's visit on May 16, 2011 in Dublin, Ireland.
Chris Jackson
PRESIDENT MARY ROBINSON AND QUEEN ELIZABETH
George V with Queen Mary visiting Ireland in 1911, the last reigning monarchs to visit.Queen Victoria visiting Dublin in 1900
The Royal Standard flag flies from an Irish pub ahead of the state visit to Ireland by the Queen on May 16, 2011 in Dublin, Ireland.
Oli Scarff
Members of the public walk past phone boxes taped shut by police ahead of the state visit to Ireland by the Queen
Oli Scarff
Picture dated 1935 showing Princess Elizabeth sitting in the studio of Hungarian sculptor Sigismund de Strobl (background).
THE ROYAL COLLECTION
NI visit 1949. The young Princess Elizabeth visits Northern Ireland.
Gardai and security outside the Garden of Remembrance in Dublin city centre, ahead of the royal Visit by Britain's Queen of Elizabeth II and her husband the Duke of Edinburgh this week.
Julien Behal
People walk past graffiti in Dublin city centre, ahead of the royal visit by Queen Elizabeth II
Niall Carson
Queen Elizabeth II meets Dame Helen Mirren at a reception to celebrate young people in the performing arts, at Buckingham Palace
Dominic Lipinski
The 8th Royal Hussars lead the procession for King George V and Queen Mary down Grafton Street,Dublin during the Royal Visit in 1911
WINSTON CHURCHILL MEETS QUEEN ELIZABETH II
KING GEORGE V1865-1936
King George V, arriving at Belfast City Hall accompanied by Queen Mary to the opening of the first Ulster Parliament. 22/6/1921.
King George V1 (VI) : Coronation on May 12th 1937. The Royal family robed and crowned on the balacony of Buckingham Palace after the coronation, with the princesses.
Princess Elizabeth with her grandparents King George V and Queen Mary; and Snip the King's Cairn terrier, 1928.
The Royal Collection 2007 Her
Princess Elizabeth of York in 1927
The Royal Collection / PA
20/11/1947 Princess Elizabeth, now Queen, and Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten, now the Duke of Edinburgh with their eight bridesmaids in the Throne Room at Buckingham Palace, on their wedding day.
PA Wire
King George V, at Belfast City Hall accompanied by Queen Mary to the opening of the first Ulster Parliament. 22/6/1921.
Belfast Telegraph
Princess Elizabeth and Princess Margaret riding a rocking horse at St. Paul's Waldenbury in August 1932
The Royal Collection / PA
Princess Elizabeth of York with lilies in 1929
The Royal Collection / PA
Princess Elizabeth (who became Queen Elizabeth II). The Royal Collection © Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
Princess Elizabeth (who became Queen Elizabeth II) playing with Victorian glasses. The Royal Collection © Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
The Duchess of York with Princess Elizabeth (who became Queen Elizabeth II). The Royal Collection © Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
Queen Elizabeth:Coronation 1953/Visit to Northern Ireland. In Ballymena.
Queen Elizabeth:Coronation 1953/Ulster Celebrations. Coronation Book Display. 4/6/1953
Queen Elizabeth:Coronation 1953/Ulster Celebrations. Beechill, Lisburn. 30/5/1953
Queen Elizabeth:Coronation 1953/Ulster Celebrations. Loopland Drive Party.
2/6/1953, of the coronation in Westminster Abbey of Britainís Queen Elizabeth II. 50 years on the anniversary will be marked later Monday June 2, 2003, with a service in the Abbey, attended by members of the Royal family, invited guests and 1,000 members of the public.
2/6/1953. Bishops pay homage to Queen Elizabeth II, at her coronation.
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So you're among the handful of select invitees at one of the Royal visit events this week and suddenly you spot a diminutive woman in a big hat heading in your direction.
It looks as if you're minutes away from an encounter with Herself, the Queen. But what to do? Bow, curtsy, nod, run away?
In fact, it's all quite simple.
Only British subjects or Commonwealth citizens are required to bow or curtsy.
But there is a golden rule - do not touch the Queen. Don't proffer your paw unless she initiates a handshake, and for the love of God restrain from doing a Paul Keating - the Australian prime minister landed himself in trouble in 1992 when he threw his arm around her.
Touching the Royal person is a big no-no, so just pretend she's a Ming vase or a very hot plate and steer clear.
And how does one address the Queen, should she stop for a chinwag? On first meeting her, 'Your Majesty' is the proper form of address, but subsequently 'Ma'am' will do.
As future Queen Mother (Helena Bonham Carter) pointed out in The King's Speech, it's pronounced "Ma'am as in ham, not marm as in farm". And Prince Philip is a basic 'Sir'.
Moreover, should a chat get under way, don't ask about her family - no interrogations as to how Wills and Kate are settling into married life, or did Princess Beatrice wear that wedding hat for a bet. The Queen gets to lead the way in the conversation.
And should you find yourself at the head table at the state dinner in Dublin Castle tomorrow evening, keep an eye on the Queen's progress; when she stops eating, so does everyone.
But most of this advice won't be required by the Republic's citizens, as the opportunities for the general public to get close to the Queen are practically zero.
Her best chance of mingling with some locals will probably be in the English Market in Cork when she'll meet the traders as she tours the stalls.
They'll probably have to wing it a bit on the etiquette front - it's sure as anything that there are no guidelines on asking the Queen to pose with a plateful of pig's trotters.
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