Pub landlord Al Murray to take on Ukip leader Nigel Farage in general election
Al Murray has confirmed that he will stand against Nigel Farage in the next general election
The Pub Landlord will contest the Ukip leader for the Kent constituency seat of South Thanet under the banner of the Free United Kingdom Party.
And it isn’t a joke. At least, not just one for today only.
A spokesperson for Murray confirmed to The Independent that the party has indeed successfully been registered, and that he would be seeing it through to the bitter end.
Farage appears to have welcomed the challenge with open arms.
He tweeted the following: "The more, the merrier Al Murray".
Here are his top policies. Because, he says, “it’s time for a bloke waving a pint offering common sense solutions”.
The pound in your pocket
"The pound will be revalued at one pound 10p, so it will now be worth ten p more. Common sense."
"If you come to A&E and it's neither an accident nor an emergency then you will be sent to a random hospital department to be practised on. Common sense."
"Germany has been too quiet for too long. Just saying."
"Of course the reason they are coming here is because this is the greatest country in the world. The only way to stop them is for a government to change that and make things a whole lot worse. Look no further. However, in the meantime, we brick up the Channel Tunnel. With British bricks. Probably have to get some Poles in to do it. Common sense."
"I believe the children are the future and there's no way you'll get me knocking teachers. Teachers are on the front line, the coalface. Doing their bit to create a level playing field for our kids... although I'm not sure they're going about it the right way by making sure none of the kids can read and write. So, instead of a postcode lottery, a new improved Street Raffle will determine which schools your kids get in to. Common sense."
"Alex Salmond to be made First Minister for Norwich, so he can get to understand what being ignored by the rest of the country is really like. Common sense."
"I pledge that the UK will leave Europe by 2025 and the edge of the Solar System by 2050. Common Market sense. In the meantime Greece to be bought and operated by Kent County Council. Couldn't be worse. Someone to do the bins at least."
"Boris Johnson to be put on an island. He keeps saying that's what he wants."
Corporations and globalisation
"Blah blah blah blah blah paradigm blah blah blah, blah blah dialectic blah blah blah blah blah blah game-changer."
Homes for hard-working families
"Build some houses, but without bringing down house prices. How hard can it be?"
"National Service, but only for people who don't want to do it."
Law and Order
"Unemployment causes crime: I propose to lock up the unemployed. Common sense."
On Local issues
"South Thanet to be made the new capital of the UK. Demilitarised zone to set-up between North and South Thanet."
Belfast Telegraph Digital