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13 of the stupidest questions people have seriously asked

‘When will the doctor be here to pierce my nipples so I can breastfeed?’

If asking stupid questions and saying generally stupid things were a sport, let’s face it we’d all have a few medals on the mantelpiece.

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For that reason it is with glee and self-deprecation we can enjoy this smorgasbord of brain farts.

Reddit user Yurtle_212 asked their fellows to share the “stupidest questions” they’ve been seriously asked – and here are 13 of the best.

1.

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2. From user Whatendings

“The insurance company asked if there was a chance that my dad’s amputated leg would grow back.”

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3.

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4. From user ghiscari_

“Because I am a dwarf I get a lot of hilarious ones.

“But one of my favourites was ‘do you need to get a smaller engine for your car?'”

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5.

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6. From user lessparanoidandroid

“I worked in a pizza restaurant when I was 16. They had a pizza they called a UFO pizza. It was just another slab of dough on top of a regular pizza, and it made it look like an orb, hence the name.

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“One day a guy that worked there was writing down a telephone order, turns around and says ‘hey guys, how do you spell UFO?’ The owner looked mortified and just repeated ‘youuu eefff ohhh!!’.

“He stared back in silence for a few moments before it hit him.”

7.

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8. From user floridianreader

“My twenty-something daughter asked why we never see squirrel eggs. Us parent types responded that’s because squirrels are mammals and don’t lay eggs like birds do.

“To which she responded, then show me an infant squirrel/’breastfeeding’ squirrel.

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“This led to a conversation that was much longer than needed to be.”

9.

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10. From user fluffykittenears

“My current boss asked me to ‘make the pages smaller’ so she can ‘see all of them’ she had excel zoomed in to 200% and thought I was just sending things in font 46.

“This person has been in her position for 12 years. Ugh.”

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11.

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12. From user Baltusrol

“In my driver’s ed class the instructor was discussing cardinal directions. He asked a girl on the front row what direction her house was from here.

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“She points out the window and he goes ‘so, West?’

“She responds ‘well, it’s my East because I’m facing you.'”

13. Spyer2k

“This one guy asked me how to ‘un-off’ something.”

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