This tale of a comically large pencil and a teachable moment is hilarious
The lesson? Always remember your stationery.
Over-sized objects such as giant stationery items are almost always hilarious, but this story shows they can provide valuable lessons also.
Twitter user @oscarewilde was behind the tale, which involved a rather random gift followed by a meticulous plan.
This is what Twitter threads were made for…
i received this comically large pencil as a gift several years ago and my first thought, understandably, was ‘what the christ am i meant to do with this?’ pic.twitter.com/5y1BG7w7bS— 🍸🦇 (@oscarewilde) July 12, 2018
the 2nd thought i had was: I’m Quite Certain I Could Ruin Someone’s Day With This. And so a while ago i took it in with me to a lecture, hoping against hope that whichever poor Fool was unfortunate enough to sit next to me might have forgotten or misplaced their writing implement— 🍸🦇 (@oscarewilde) July 12, 2018
utilising The Pencil is also dependent on the person not using a laptop. So the chances of success are extraordinarily slim, and I’ve only managed to find suitable candidates three times in all of the dozens of occasions i’ve had The Pencil on my person— 🍸🦇 (@oscarewilde) July 12, 2018
i size up my target, watching them feign patting their pockets in vain for the ballpoint they so obviously left at home, and i wait, i wait for the blessed question.... Do You Have A Pen I Could Borrow?— 🍸🦇 (@oscarewilde) July 12, 2018
‘Oh’, i say, ‘I’m so sorry; I only have a pencil.’ ‘That’s fine!’ i hear them say, distantly now, as the blood is rushing to my ears and i can barely hear them. I maintain a straight face. This is key to the delivery and the final blow— 🍸🦇 (@oscarewilde) July 12, 2018
I reach into my bag for The Pencil. The look of utter dumbfounded misery as i hand it to the victim is unparalleled in its sweetness. In an instant their eyes flicker through the 5 stages of grief, landing on acceptance, as they realise it’s This or Nothing— 🍸🦇 (@oscarewilde) July 12, 2018
still maintaining that eye contact i smile, only the tiniest fraction, the unspoken words forming between us. ‘What are you gonna do now, huh? You feeling lucky, kiddo? Buddy? Buckaroo? You gonna kick up a fuss in this silent lecture theatre? Huh? Or will you take The Pencil?’— 🍸🦇 (@oscarewilde) July 12, 2018
they Always take the pencil— 🍸🦇 (@oscarewilde) July 12, 2018
So the next time you forget to bring your pencil case to class, think twice before asking someone for a writing implement. They might have seen you coming.