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Kate's status no laughing matter


Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge


Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge

All those Jubilee pictures of the Queen and Kate Middleton caught in mid mutual-hilarity, like two cross-generational peas in a pod, united in laughter. You could have been forgiven for thinking the Boss Lady saw her grandson's wife as almost - gasp - an equal human.

However you'd have been wrong, if the newly updated royal protocols, nodded through by her Madge and revealed this week are anything to go by. According to a document catchily entitled Order of Precedence of the Royal Family to be Observed at Court, as a non 'blood royal' Kate must curtsy to all Windsor purebreds. Yup, even Fergie's kids, Eugenie and Beatrice. Only if she's actually alongside her purebreed husband is the scummy commoner elevated by association with the future King. According to those in the know, the last time there was a hurry to update curtsying and bowing rules was when Charles married Camilla, and some top level bluebloods' brains nearly exploded at the idea of having to genuflect to the interloper.

I do love these little insights into a family the BBC keeps telling us are 'just like us'. We already know the rich are different to you and me, but these details confirm that the Windsors are on another planet, one in which it's important to press home the advantage of a lucky accident of birth by routinely humiliating gate-crashing proletarians. The Queen might grant you a shared chuckle Kate, but only if you keep bowing your pretty little head whenever you see her coming.