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Katie Price and the true language of love?

Despite my principled stance against everything she says, does and represents, I have to admit my fascination with Katie Price - also known as my evil side - continues unabated.

This week the lexicographer of love told us how happy she is with brand new boyfriend and eternal soul-mate Leandro (the Argentinian model, keep up people!), and let us into the secret of their blooming relationship - a total absence of communication.

"I'm very relaxed when I'm with him. I'm more relaxed than I've ever been with anyone," she cooed. "Because we can't talk it's not about playing games. We're just trying to get to know each other."

Leandro is good at backrubs and shopping, and he looks like a younger, straighter Ricky Martin, but he doesn't do English. And it may surprise you to know Katie doesn't do Spanish.

So, as anyone who's seen her Living TV reality show will tell you, the two connect through a series of smiles, hugs, frowns, confused looks and awkward silences. It's a beautiful thing - you can see why they've already got matching tattoos.

There have been some suggestions that the no-talking thing has created some barriers between the couple, with Katie frustrated that Leandro can't comfort her when she is suffering from low self-esteem - indeed, he may not be aware that she is suffering at all. It's lucky he looks sweet when he's baffled. But as Leandro himself says, you can't argue with chemistry.

Or did he mean chemists?

Belfast Telegraph