Belfast Telegraph

Keep right: the Kremlin and Russia is now under the control of that ‘kindly capitalist’ Vladimir Putin

One hundred years after the Russian Revolution... it's real good to see Putin leading a capitalist utopia 

It's 100 years since the Russian Revolution, which some people are celebrating, though, if you were to be picky, you could argue it hasn't gone entirely to plan. If you set up a holiday resort, you might not be happy if the most favourable review on TripAdvisor was: "After a picturesque drive (slightly spoilt when we reached for our camera and armed guards yelled 'No photo', and pointed a Kalashnikov at our children), we arrived in good time, but the food was disappointing as we had to queue three days for a frozen potato."

Golden moment: Nigel Farage is presented with a tray of Ferrero Rocher at the Ritz

You know the Establishment has been given a kicking when you see Farage gorging on Ferrero Rocher at the Ritz 

From the way Donald Trump is trying to place Nigel Farage as British ambassador to America, it seems he must think part of his prize for winning the election is he can appoint whoever he likes to every single job. Next, he'll demand Boris Johnson is made Prime Minister of Pakistan, Alan Sugar plays in goal for Brazil and Farage combines his role as ambassador with being an underwear model for Marks & Spencer.

Nick Clegg's Liberal Democrats can hope to enjoy a couple more years in government 'before another 70 years off'

Mark Steel: The Liberal Democrats should hire a bouncy castle 

What's the point of the Lib Dems having a conference this year? No one will believe anything they say they'll do, so it makes as much sense as having a junkie party conference, where a series of junkies stand at the rostrum and say, "I promise, Mister Chairman, absolutely promise, to pay you back if you can sub me a hundred notes. I know the British people were upset with me when I pledged that if you trusted me I wouldn't take anything and then I nicked your fridge and your bed and sold them for scag but I'm clean now, honest, just a ton or maybe two hundred, and I give my word to this nation I'll pay you back Thursday."

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