A friend had a problem with rats in the house so he called in the first company listed in Yellow Pages. "Discretion assured!" the ad said.
Right enough, a man turned up in an unmarked van, wearing an unmarked, bright red jumpsuit and carrying a black briefcase. A kind of festive 007.
Later, as this James Bond of vermin was leaving after doing the needful, my friend's neighbour appeared in his own driveway. Our man said loudly: "That boiler won't give you anymore trouble!" and went off.
The neighbour turned to my friend: "So, that was the rat man then?"