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New Sure advert really is the pits

Anti-perspirant makers, Sure, might need to change their name to Aye Right.

Their latest ad shows a woman, naked from the waist up (don't worry, no royals were harmed in the making of this ad), with the slogan: "I'm the boss of me. That includes my armpits."

There's so much wrong with this ad it's hard to know where to start. Firstly, the wording. It's clunky, badly expressed and just downright ugly - "I'm the boss of me"? It's like something a 12-year-old wee girl would shout at her Ma just before slamming her bedroom door in a huff because her mother dared suggest that a tattoo on her face might be a bad idea.

Then there's the claim.

The assertion that I, you, one has control over one's sweat glands. No-one, no-one, not even the coolest super model in Milan, has control over her perspiration. Kate Moss might look cool, but put her under those intense catwalk spotlights for long and she's gonna be glowing like the proverbial pig. It's natural - you get hot, your pits are gonna do their job and cool you down. And why shouldn't they? It's what they're for.

So sure, you whack a bit of deodorant under there and the scent's a bit less anti-social, but stop you actually perspiring? Aye, sure.