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Let's hope Joanna is wrong or we're never getting out of here

Top actress Joanna Lumley says she doesn't fear death and claims she was a boy soldier during the First World War.

I think these claims bear further examination.

Donning my white coat and stethoscope, I notice Joanna's controversial claims are based on her belief in reincarnation. This holds that, just when you die and think "Thank God that's over. Now where's the telly in this place?", you're sent back down to the Hell that is Earth. Hence Joanna's previous life as a soldier. It all sounds a bit random. How can you move from boy soldier to beautiful actress? It's as if Jehovah the Merciless were having a laugh.

Like most citizens, I'm not bothered by death - load of nonsense, if you ask me - but I am concerned about coming back. In particular, I don't want to come back as a woman, as I want to be able to drive properly.