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This footballer's wage shows that the world has gone mad

As we all pull together to face the worse economic crisis since the last one, I bring you this news from the front: a footballer in Russiashire is being paid £350,000 a week.

The figure is probably too big to get into your heads. But heave away and get it in there: three-hundred-and-fifty-thousand-squids. A week. For playing footer.

Fair enough, it's in Dagestan, usually described in guidebooks as 'volatile'. But you can't pay someone all that for playing football. You just can't. There should be a law against it.

The paymaster clearly off his roubles is one Suleiman Kerimov, who made his billions from potash and gold, but clearly cannot afford good quality razors, as he's habitually depicted unshaven.

The footballer under advisement is Cameroonian striker Samuel Eto'o (right) who already has enough zeros in his salary without adding an extra one to his name. Also signed up for Loono United are Yuri Zhirkov from Chelsea, and former Real Madrid defender Roberto Carlos.

They won't last, of course. Folk fetch up at such clubs, squirrel away the cash for a season, then return to civilisation, richer if not wiser men.

It's all bonkers, and there's not a thing we can do about it. That's how far the human race has come.