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Why I'd rather cut short my life ...

After giving it considerable thought, I have decided not to get castrated. You say: "But why would you even consider such a thing? Do you wish to lose a lot of weight?"

No, madam. That's not the reason. The reason is that castration adds up to 19 years to your life.

Researchers from the Albert Einstein College (bit ambitious with the name there, lads) of Medicine at Yeshiva University, Americashire, studied Korean eunuchs who waddled around delicately during the Chosun Dynasty (1392-1910).

It might sound like these fellas had a bad lot. But, in exchange for their reproductive accoutrements, they had privileged positions and lifestyles. They were even allowed to marry and adopt children.

Three of the 81 eunuchs under advisement lived till they were over 100.

While they were having a ball, as it were, the monarchs with a full set pegged out on average at 47. Just goes to show: less is more.