Belfast Telegraph

Cooper Brown: Stake out

I parked the Quattroporte on the other side of the street from the Cooperdome so that I could take advantage of the good weather to sit on the balcony and observe “Operation Lesbian Sticker Lady”.

I watched Mulligan carefully attach these sucker pads to each window and “arm” the system. Of course, he couldn’t resist checking that the thing was working and I nearly fell of the balcony laughing when I saw him touch the trunk and nearly get thrown against the nearby wall by the force of the electric shock. He gave me a thumbs-up, but he was clearly in some pain as he hobbled off round the corner to his capture position.

I cracked open a bottle and waited for something to happen. It’s not often that you spend a day watching everybody that comes down your street and I would recommend that you do so if you have some spare time. Notting Hill is a little like the US, in that anyone decent does not walk around. Only the insane, the poor and council officials walk. Occasionally a normal person with a kid would walk up the street on their way to crèche or kid karate lessons. The local tramp staggered down the road and I prayed that he do his usual thing of trying every car door.

The student on the corner has a car with faulty locks and the tramp often spends a couple of nights a week in the vehicle. Sadly there must have been happy hour on meths at the corner shop, as he didn’t stop. We disarmed the car at five – tomorrow we start again. Cooper Out.


A handsome bald male, Cooper Brown is a 21st century success story. While doing an internship at Paramount in LA some big shots liked the Cooper style and took him under their wing. Now he’s a veteran of the shallow, backstabbing and treacherous movie industry, and he loves it.

Twitter- @icooperbrown

Belfast Telegraph


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