Calling all sneaks, snitches, busybodies and curtain-twitchers. Stand ready. Your services could be called upon. The job of your dreams may be within reach.
Covid marshals could soon be sent into business premises in Northern Ireland, to make sure both customers and staff are complying with coronavirus regulations, according to the BBC Nolan show.
The idea, it's understood, is under active consideration.
The PSNI already has a dedicated web page where people can tout on their neighbours for perceived breaches of the rules.
If you suspect Jim Magee at Number 53 has failed to observe the full 14 day quarantine period after his return from Lanzarote, having been spotted at the corner shop on the evening of day 13 buying a pint of milk, there's a "simple online form" which you can use to dob him in.
Think of Jim's gob-smacked face when he gets a knock at the door from the cops. Maybe - fingers crossed - he'll even be slapped with a hefty fine, and serve him right too. How dare he have a holiday in the sun when there are people dying?
We all know that there's a certain kind of embittered and unpleasant person who gets a self-righteous kick out of telling tales like this to the authorities. Getting others into trouble.
But the introduction of paid Covid marshals would take the recruitment of unofficial community spies to the next level. Essentially, it's about policing members of the public by people who aren't the police. Private individuals with state powers.
How would you like some officious bloke in a high-vis vest patrolling your local pub - if and when we're trusted to be allowed to go to pubs again - to make sure you're wearing a mask if you get up to go to the loo?
Or coming up to you in the supermarket to tick you off for passing too close to another shopper in the canned goods aisle?
Because fear levels are running high, and because there is frustration about the minority who aren't properly observing the regulations, I have no doubt that many people would support the introduction of Covid marshals.
But that would be a serious mistake. We have already had so many freedoms taken away in the name of beating the virus, despite a distinct lack of evidence that such measures are ethical, sustainable or even effective.
To add a further layer of surveillance, coercion and control to our everyday lives cannot be justified.
The former German Democratic Republic (GDR) was notorious for its state surveillance. The Stasi - the GDR's secret police force - relied on a vast network of official and unofficial informants to maintain their regime of ruthless control. In this sick, suspicion-riddled society, sons spied on fathers, mothers spied on daughters. There was nobody you could trust.
A lesser known example of civilian law enforcement is the North Korean "inminbans": neighbourhood groups monitored by female officials.
The official is required to know everything about the households under her jurisdiction. She keeps keys to their homes, registers overnight visitors to ensure that prior notice has been given to the authorities, checks travel permits and monitors any suspicious activity, reporting regularly to the security forces.
How long will it be before we are asked to provide house keys to the authorities so they can check we aren't harbouring people from outside our state-approved bubble? Some may think it's fanciful or needlessly alarmist to start talking about East Germany or North Korea. They say that it's reasonable to bring in Covid marshals for a short period of time, to ensure public compliance during an unprecedented health emergency.
Maybe, maybe not. Authoritarian measures enacted in a time of crisis have a nasty habit of sticking around once the crisis has passed.
Either way, we cannot allow fear and uncertainty to distract us from our current direction of travel. As former Supreme Court judge Jonathan Sumption has observed, during the pandemic the British state has exercised coercive powers over its citizens on a scale never previously attempted: "It has taken effective legal control, enforced by the police, over the personal lives of the entire population: where they could go, whom they could meet, what they could do even within their own homes."
This, warns Lord Sumption, is how freedom dies: "When societies lose their liberty, it is not usually because some despot has crushed it under his boot. It is because people voluntarily surrendered their liberty out of fear of some external threat."
Freedom isn't just an abstract idea, or a pretty play-thing to be put aside when times get tough. It's our life-blood. It's our most fundamental democratic right.
So why are we so eagerly giving it away?