Of course Fergie must go to Prince William's wedding
Everyone has them. There's nothing anyone can do. They come with the territory. The headers, the spoilers, the layabouts, the rude and the crude, the spongers, the snobs, the religious fanatics, the embarrassments.
In short, The Family.
And if Kate and William reportedly intend to invite Fergie to their nuptials in April, it's because that's what you do with the black sheep when a wedding looms. Tackle it head on, post a sensible young type to shepherd her about and keep the fingers crossed.
Anything else would risk alienating swathes of the family circle, sending resentment and the desire for revenge spiralling down the generations. In William and Kate's case, that'll be the royal cousins, Eugenie and Beatrice.
Let alone the horror of humiliating their aunt, unsettling Uncle Andy, and spoiling their happy day by needlessly hurting a harmless and hard-done-by soul who has, let's face it, done the best she could.
It's also about acknowledging that it mightn't all have been her fault. That she didn't break in to the Royal Family against its will, but was invited in. Indeed, once upon a time, children, she was herself at the right end of the red carpet as a blushing duchess.
And if it's everyone else who's blushing now when she shows up, well, that's just our crazy Auntie Fergie who tried to charge people for talking to Uncle Andy.
Give her a hat, a new outfit and pop open a bottle of Bolly. She might be good for a song at the reception.