Simon Cowell not such a baby when it comes to the ladies
No misogynist cliché is left unturned when it comes to Lauren Silverman, the married woman expecting Simon Cowell's baby.
According to which gossip sheet you read, she's done the X Factor magnate up "like a kipper".
She's also allegedly demanding £105m in support – or, in a slightly more off kilter version of the gold-digger stereotype, she's demanding her own reality show.
Or if you fancy Silverman as an update of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, Cowell was "the love of her life" at whom she threw herself at every opportunity.
Of course, we've also had the greatest cliché of them all: apparently Cowell thought she was taking "precautions".
And, oh yes, he'd also reportedly "dumped" her before knowing of the pregnancy.
No matter about the details, the bottom line remains the same: Lauren Silverman is a self-promoting, desperate or vengeful predator, while Simon Cowell is a hapless dupe with straw in his hair, conned into fathering a child.
The language is always that of victimhood: Cowell was "tricked", "trapped" and "deceived".
Now, I suspect that Silverman is not an unworldly innocent.
But neither is Cowell, a media mogul whose business acumen and shrewd judgment has made him that fortune.
The truth is that both knew what they were getting into ... betrayal – she of her husband, he of a close friend.
Both of them deserve each other...