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So tell me again, Jeremy, just why is London so great?

Good news for the citizens of Salford. Motormouth Jeremy Clarkson would prefer to give up his £2m a year BBC salary rather than be part of the Corporation's partial relocation to the north of England.

After disparaging remarks about Salford and saying he would resign in a heartbeat if asked to move north, he comes to the crux of fulcrum: "It [Salford] is nowhere near any court that matters and nowhere near a single politician.

"Furthermore, if we ran the show from Salford, we'd be employing people from Salford. People who were born there and thought 'Yes, I like this. I see no reason to go anywhere else'. And in the world of television that could be a genuine handicap.

"Every year we'd end up making a Christmas special from the Dog and Duck or the nearest Arndale Centre."

Goodness, such condecension. Quite why Top Gear (which let's face it is one huge free plug for the car industry) has to be near the courts and with immediate access to top politicians is somewhat of a mystery. But Our Jeremy does have a point. London is where the world's movers and shakers hang out: expenses fiddling politicians, nation bankrupting bankers, phone hacking journalists ... the rancid creme de la creme as it were.

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