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Tie removal alert! Up until he took part this week in the BBC's Conservative leadership candidates debate, Rory Stewart was being tipped as the outsider to watch. He was the quirky oddball coming from nowhere (well, the Department of International Development), nipping up the blind side of Boris as they headed for the home straight.
Tayto cheese and onion would have put KGB off scent I have a tendency to get around to reading books a bit after everybody else has.
In this week of Trump and circumstance, did Meghan Markle miss a trick by not showing up for the state banquet to welcome the Leader of the Free World? It's one of the questions that occurs at the end of a week when the big debate, of course, centred round the controversial issue of whether or not the Queen - or to be more precise, the Government - was right to roll out the red carpet for the Orange One.
Things have come to a pretty pass when politicians are being taken to court accused of lying. If this catches on we may have to scale up the prison building programme over the next few years.
I have a confession to make. One which, I know, that will alarm and offend and probably even disgust many of my fellow Remainers. Like them I think leaving the EU is very much a bad idea. It is a bad idea for the UK as a whole and will (in my opinion anyway) be even more damaging still for Northern Ireland.
For the local workforce, the loss of over 30 jobs as a result of this week's closure of the Smyth & Gibson shirt factory in Londonderry will be the harshest, the most immediate blow. But this sad news also signals the passing of an era.
I think the maddest reality television show I ever watched an episode of was Naked and Afraid, the plot of which is summed up by the makers as follows: "For 21 days, one man and one woman - meeting for the first time in the nude - are paired and tasked to survive in some of the world's most extreme environments ... with no food, water or clothes."
The week began with two important revelations. One, that going by the council election results, there now appears to be a mood for change in local politics. And two, that Superintendent Ted Hastings is not (so far anyway) the mysterious 'H' in the nation's most watched television crime series.
The girl getting on to our bus had just had a row with a friend. We, her fellow passengers, knew this because she was on the phone telling another friend all about it. Very, very LOUDLY.
My first gut reaction, scrolling through early morning online coverage of the story... what are you doing in there, Lyra? Why is that picture of you right there in the middle of that shocking, breaking story about a young woman shot dead?
According to my son - and he has a point - there's a trick to how people in public life apologise.
It wasn't so much a speech as a telling off. Gripping the Number 10 lectern, thwarted Prime Minister Theresa May let rip at MPs who she felt had hitherto stymied her deal. Her unusual "address to the nation" this week was short and nothing much new was laid before us.
I've mentioned in this column before how I fear for the schoolchildren of the future who will someday have to sit down in a history lesson and try to get their heads around Brexit.
It's been a bit of a testing old week for expat UK members of the jihadi community following news that one of their number has been declared persona non grata by the British Government.
Meghan Markle: the soap opera. In this week's omnibus instalment the Duchess of Sussex (previously Rachel in Suits) is thrilled to discover that a group of anonymous friends have talked to a US magazine describing her as kind and nurturing.
I am woman, I am strong. No, let me rephrase that. I am woman and I am sick of being told I am strong. Like this is a new thing. It's not that I have any problem with the idea of women (or indeed men) being strong, empowered, pursuing their ambitions, reaching for the stars, whatever. Far from it.
Liam Neeson's problem may be that he is too intelligent for the sages of social media. Okay, so maybe it wasn't the cleverest thing in today's censorious, sanctimonious world to confess to a youthful bout of blind rage and racism.
Is 40 the new 80? Rugby star Simon Zebo seems to think so... Responding to news that Ulster Rugby had banned for life a spectator who'd racially abused him during a recent game at the Kingspan Stadium, the player described the culprit as "an elderly man, like 40-plus".
Tantrum Number One of the Week: the hissy fit thrown by Sinn Fein representatives on Belfast City Council, who have objected to allowing cartoonist/artist Brian John Spencer to sketch the council in session, doesn't exactly paint these self-styled torch-bearers for inclusivity in a flattering light.
It will come as a surprise to no one that the poet Michael Longley, a man whose building blocks are words, should relish and respect language. In an interview on Radio Ulster's Talkback this week, the great man spoke of his regret that he'd never learned to speak Irish - he says he envies fellow poets who are bilingual.
I was going to do a jokey piece based on a Christmas pantomime this week. But the House of Commons beat me to it. In particular I'm referring to the controversy over Jeremy Corbyn and whether or not he called Theresa May "a stupid woman".
You know the old saying? You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family? In the case of in-laws it's more complex still.
This week the American television channel CNN released results of a major poll on anti-Semitism carried out across seven European countries. Briefly the findings can be summed up by the title CNN used to tag coverage of the story: A Shadow Over Europe.
A body language expert would, of course, have a field day. With Arlene. With all of them, really. But yesterday the focus was entirely upon Arlene, solemnly centre stage in the RHI hot seat - looking at times how the rest of us feel when by-passing the 'Anything to Declare' channel at the airport.
It's been a week of tantrums and tears, meltdowns and madness. And mounting evidence that adults are the new infants. Over we go first to the US Open where tennis diva Serena Williams kicked off (literally) an action-packed few days by smashing up a racquet and then creating a racket by calling an umpire, whose penalty decision she disputed, a thief and a liar.
The great John McCain, US senator and arguably the most outstanding president America never had, died at the weekend - a few days short of what would have been his 82nd birthday today.
Bernadette McAliskey has called for Stormont to be bulldozed, which is surely coming at the problem from entirely the wrong angle.
I was sitting quietly in a local coffee shop the other day, minding my own business and flicking through a newspaper when suddenly from behind me, an enthusiastic voice began to cry out - rather loudly - above the hubbub of subdued chat and clinking cups.
Understandably, there have been calls for public funding for the Belfast Feile to be looked at following those shameful scenes of sectarian chanting captured on mobile phone footage of the crowd during a performance by the Wolfe Tones.
Fake or fortune? I watched the weekend television show where Fiona Bruce and another art expert set out to prove whether or not a painting was by a master. Or a close effort.
Global warming has only itself to blame. Part of the reason I think, why some people have previously found it hard to take global warming seriously was, well, the lack of warming.
Have women let the side down in Northern Ireland? Women politicians, I mean. Some years ago, when women in local politics were a rarity (and we still have some way to go) I wrote articles bemoaning this dearth and arguing for a more balanced gender representation at the polls.
Collagin. Now why didn't you and I think of that? It's a product which brings together two of the most popular trends of the day - quirky gin and non-surgical cosmetic procedure. Collagin - the clue is in the name - is an alcoholic drink infused with collagen which is supposedly a big wrinkle deterrent.
It would be safe to say the new 12-hour bus lanes which have come into effect in west and east Belfast have not been greeted with universal joy by local commuters.
Getting back to Nature is all very well. Unless, of course, this turns out to be a bit of an inconvenience for Nature. Just ask the Flemish Agency for Nature and Woodland which has recently raised objections to proposals for a new nudist beach in Belgium
I don't know about you but I'm still troubled by the story of the cop accused of muttering 'bye, bye bonfire' as contractors demolished a pyre of pallets which had been due for Eleventh Night incineration in east Belfast.
Donald Trump is getting ready for England just now. But it would be fair to say England isn't especially getting ready for Donald. The US President is due to arrive tomorrow for a visit which, we know, will be marked by protests from some quarters and a huge 'Trump baby' blimp flown over London.
Northern Ireland has just had the hottest June in record. But needless to say this happy climactic news has its downside. Thus far, a hosepipe ban. And, if the good weather keeps up, how long before even more rigorous water rationing?
It's been a while now since the royal family has had a loose cannon about the palace. The phrase, which was a staple of tabloid terminology back when Fergie of York was in her toe-sucking prime, hasn't had much of an airing in recent years.
Actress Emilia Clarke, best known as Daenerys Targaryen in the global hit television series Game of Thrones, has posted a final season farewell on Instagram.
In this month in 1783, the following death notice appeared in the Londonderry Journal. "Sunday, died, in Cockspur Street, Charing Cross, Byrne, the famous Irish giant, whose death is reported to have been precipitated by excessive drinking, to which he was always addicted, but more particularly since his late loss of £700."
Atv sketch by comedienne Tracey Ullman, where she appears as a startlingly lookalike Jeremy Corbyn, has enraged supporters of the Labour leader who, angered at her taking a pop at the party's rampant anti-Semitism, have developed one of the week's weirder conspiracy theories about who had to be behind this slagging off of their boy.
Earlier this week I interviewed for this paper the Rev Chris Hudson, minister of All Souls' Church in Belfast and a man who has been to the forefront of several campaigns to bring about a liberalisation of the law in Ireland, north and south, not least in terms of marriage equality.
Sometimes when I read those glossy magazine articles about latest nutritional advice I wonder how we ever got by as children without almond milk and soya milk and all those other oddball milks you're encouraged to use to wash down your spiralised courgette 'spaghetti'. And now a new one - cockroach milk. (This has to be fake news, surely). Reports claim it is protein rich.
Kylie Minogue is 50 years of age. It is shocking news in one way because the ageless Australian songstress doesn't look to be a day over 35.
There's been a bit of a trend in the housing market of late, where fabulous homes with swimming pools, snooker rooms, private cinemas and, at a minimum, a dozen bathrooms can be yours for around 25 quid.
Another week, another DUP sex scandal. Why is it that the local party most aligned to Bible-bashing and finger-pointing seems to provide us with more stories of bedroom origin than just about all the other parties put together?
I'm starting to feel better about not having been invited to the Royal wedding. Among other non-invitees is Amelia somebody-or-other who is described as "the most beautiful Royal". A supportive source opines that maybe Harry didn't want her there in case she upstaged the bride. Miaow!
With the countdown now on to this year's big Windsor wedding, no surprise to learn that those age-old, familiar Royal Family traditions are being adhered to...
Kate, Duchess of Cambridge may go down in history as the first member of the Royal family to have given birth to a blow dry. A few days ago when Prince William's wife left hospital with her new little son it wasn't the bouncing baby boy in her arms that most excited attention among some online critics - it was her bouncy hair do.
