Don't be worrying your head about all those disturbing reports of food shortages in the shops, logjam at the ports, chaotic Brexit bureaucracy and millions being lost by businesses. According to Jacob Rees-Mogg, we have bigger fish to fry.
"The key thing," he told the Commons this week, "is that we've got our fish back. They're now British fish and they're happier and better for it."
The happiness of haddock is all very well. Pigs have less to feel cheery about. Percy Pig in particular.
In an effort to spell out the bureaucratic Bedlam of Brexit, the CEO of Marks & Spencer, which has had to temporarily halt the supply of hundreds of items to stores in Northern Ireland because of red tape, highlighted the perplexing example of Percy.
Turns out the best-selling gummy sweet is made in Germany. Which means that if Herr Pig is imported into the UK and Marksies then distributes him to stores in the Republic, there may be taxes to pay.
M&S are not the only food supplier, or business, to have been hit by post-Brexit paperwork and mayhem.
Scottish seafood firms are losing millions as a result of containers being delayed at ports. Percy Pig sweets do not go off overnight. Seafood does.
Nichola Sturgeon (there's a fish who doesn't feel quite so thrilled to be British) has verbally filleted the Government's handling of this chaos.
But not only does self-important prat Rees-Mogg make light of it all with that guff about happy fish, his boss Boris also dismisses it as "teething problems".
Barracuda teeth, presumably.
The PM promises he will not hesitate to invoke Article 16 of the Northern Ireland Protocol, which would bypass the new trade rules between here and the rest of the UK.
This is the same man who told businesses a few months back that if they were asked to fill in forms, post-Brexit, they were to throw them straight in the bin. What's being binned instead is spoiled food and people's livelihoods.
And the worrying thing is that we are still within what is officially referred to as the "grace period". I'd be concerned what the graceless period up ahead will entail.
The EU are not blameless in all this and are unlikely to respond to difficulties at the borders with bending-over-backwards indulgence.
The episode in the Netherlands, where a customs officer confiscated a British lorry driver's ham sandwiches, would appear to be a pointer.
When the driver asked if he couldn't just peel off the ham and keep the bread, even this small concession was denied.
Let them eat nothing.
Sir Jeffrey Donaldson, whose DUP party's backing for Brexit was a classic example of turkeys voting for Christmas, has now invoked the possibility that the trade protocol which has led to food shortages here could undermine the Good Friday Agreement.
This is a clever line, because the one thing that makes EU and American leaders sit up and take notice is any whisper of Agreement undermining.
Nobody, anywhere, wants to be accused of doing anything that might destabilise the Agreement.
Other parties argue that the current sea border turmoil is all on the DUP for its foolishness in backing Boris. Which is fair comment.
But we do need all parties - and governments - to come together right now to sort this mess out.
In a time of pandemic, with people in Northern Ireland having to endure so much, having so much else to worry about, the idea of having to deal with Stalinesque shortages in the food aisles is appalling.
As is the snooty contempt and complacency in Westminster where Jacob Rees-Mogg speaks for the cods.
Take a chance on Swedish with Ikea
The story about Ikea bombarding local callers with Abba hits while hanging on the line for customer service raised a few smiles this week (although possibly not among the aggrieved callers).
I've always thought there could be a book or YouTube tutorial video in "Teach Yourself Swedish With The Ikea Catalogue".
It may be an easier language than we think. Their wood treatment oil, for example, is called Skydd.
Also easy to remember - the word for their marshmallows. Skumtopp.
Testing time for pigeon down under
Having flown solo 13,000km from Oregon in the US to Melbourne in Australia, Joe the racing pigeon may have hoped for a break.
Sadly not. He found himself on death row. Officials in Oz demanded his execution in case he'd got Covid. Supporters claimed his identification band was fake and that he should be spared.
But the country's acting PM was taking no prisoners. He said Joe should fly home or "face the consequences".
I know pigeons don't have nostrils, but couldn't they just test the poor creature in some way?
We can’t vouch for those gift cards
Sadly, our much anticipated spending voucher from Stormont has been put on the long finger.
With retail closed, there's not much point issuing vouchers which would allow us to nobly boost the retail industry. Some of us were already spending the cash in our heads.
What are the chances, do you think, we'll ever get those gift cards - and retail will avail of our voucher therapy?