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Price is right for Fergie ...

At a road intersection in America a gentleman holds up a hand-written sign reading; “Homeless. Help appreciated. Or just a smile.”

Even in desperate circumstances Americans like nothing better than a bit of schmaltz. So Fergie currently emoting on US TV about her many issues, mistakes, setbacks and emotional crises looks to be going down well. You would think that all the meat from the bones of Royal revelation relating to her time in the House of Windsor would have been picked entirely bare.

But Fergie has added an additional layer of soul-baring self-analysis that is cringe-makingly compelling. This week she was being seen to by an Arizona witch doctor (who knew there was such a thing?) as she attempted to find a path for life and offload aforementioned issues.

With a bandana tied around her face she had to climb up a bit of mountain carrying rocks.

This is a woman who says: “I’ve humiliated myself so often, so publicly, I can’t forgive myself.”

Why do it again then? Short answer — as with her attempts to sell access to former husband Andy, it’s about money. A reputed $300,000 (£188,000) or thereabouts for the series Finding Sarah.

Where you won’t be finding her, she complains, is at any Royal function.

Even with the face mask, Sarah doesn’t get invited these days to events attended by the Queen.

Maybe if she joined the south Belfast UDA?

Belfast Telegraph