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The end is nigh for Gordon, or David, or Nick

Not so long ago I wrote that Gordon Brown and his New Labour government would be remembered for an era that brought us trials of truly Biblical proportions . War (Afghanistan), famine (recession) and pestilence (Swine Flu).

All that was missing, I thought, was the fire and brimstone stuff

And then just as Gordon prepared to square up to Dave and Nick for television’s version of Judgement Day, all hell erupted.

Or to give it its proper name (which relatively few on-screen commentators are even taking a stab at pronouncing, I notice) Eyjafjallajokull. The geological equivalent of Beelzebub.

In fairness, since he is no longer Prime Minister, we can’t actually blame Gordon for the fact that in recent days the news headlines have been reading more like verses from the Book of Revelation.

The earth’s core is exploding. Commerce is brought to a standstill. Life as we know it grinds to a halt. And to cap it all, the LibDems are tipped for government.

It is a bizarre set of circumstances visited upon the nation at a time when the place is being run by faceless Whitehall mandarins and the scriptwriters from The Day After Tomorrow.

OK, it’s not quite Armageddon (the Biblical version) but it’s spookily close to an early scene in one of the many Hollywood interpretations of global meltdown.

But no screen producer would have come up with that genius twist of the satellite picture of the volcano that itself looked like a creature from the bowels of hell.

And who would have thought that of all the rogue nations of the world it would be seemingly innocent little old Iceland which in recent times would contribute so magnanimously to global recession and aerial shutdown via its imploding banks and exploding volcanoes?

But back to Gord and Dave and Nick, and the inevitable question of how the dramatic events of the past week are likely to play in the election.For they’re bound to, aren’t they?

If the colour of a tie in a TV debate, or the fact that one candidate remembers all his questioners’ names can affect the polls, then surely the (genuinely) seismic chaos of the last few days will have some sort of ripple effect.

Might it help convince some of the great undecided that the times really are a-changin’ and that the third option represented by Cleggie and Co really is the way forward?

Some irony, of course, if the eruption of the geological version of Old Nick should bolster Young Nick but stranger things have happened in politics, especially over the water where they consistently returned Tony Blair to power. Not that the current election battle actually offers a whole lot of new and exciting options.

There’s Old Gord, son of the Scottish preacher man, the political version of the oul’ boy walking the streets in his World Ends Tomorrow sandwich boards.

There’s Dave Boy, wannabe man-of-the-people who can’t quite shake off his Lord Snooty air.

And then there’s Cleggie who in the TV debate managed to come over at times as borderline Piers Morgan-ish, but in doing so reminds us that he, too, is yet another public school-educated toff.

Still. He is now being compared to Susan Boyle, Barack Obama and Churchill — the Holy Trinity of current popular opinion.

Whether he will end up as the victor or the Olly Murs of this election battle, we shall see.

It’s still early days. And the crucial issue of whether the voters will go with the devil they know or a devil they don't, remains, like volcanic ash, all still a bit up in the air.

Belfast Telegraph