How long before Stormont decides to put us on a diet too? Boris already has his Covid weight loss plan up and - if not quite running - at least on the starting blocks. The reasoning behind the PM's new-found enthusiasm for calorie counting is sound. Those who carry extra poundage (and he himself was an unfortunate example) are at more risk from Covid-19.
And, current emergency aside, it's long been acknowledged that the UK has a major weight problem. Apparently in Europe only the people of Malta are fatter than us.
The obesity epidemic, as it's been called, has also placed an enormous burden upon the NHS. Something must be done.
And so, unusually for a Conservative government - the Tories are not normally fans of anything suggestive of the nanny state - the plan is now to chivvy us all into eating less and exercising more.
Like most strategies emanating from Number 10 these days there's so much waffling around it's hard to tell what we're being fed.
There are proposals that menus in the larger restaurant and fast food chains must display the calorie count of their dishes.
The hospitality industry, which understandably feels it's got enough on its plate right now without having to work out how many calories are in it, is not exactly brimming with enthusiasm at this suggestion.
And there's not a lot of evidence the new labelling will have much impact.
If smokers can disregard those gruesome, gruesome pics they put on cigarette packets, diners may also be able to skim over the fattening potential of a Whopper and Fries.
Even Boris doesn't want to put you off your food entirely.
This month sees the launch of the imaginative Eat Out To Help Out scheme, where the Government will be picking up half our restaurant tabs to encourage us to fill our faces for the sake of the economy.
As mixed messages go, 'Eat Out But Cut Out' is on a par with a deep-fried Mars bar with celery. Not that you're going to be allowed to see a Mars bar again on the tele until after 9pm.
Along with bad language, gratuitous violence and sex, the Government believes chocolate-coated temptation should be kept from the eyes of the innocent young and so is proposing a pre-watershed ban on TV ads for junk food.
Meanwhile, there is talk of bariatric surgery (gastric bands) being more freely available to those who have already succumbed to the lure of the pre-watershed Magnum and KFC commercials.
Exercise is to be encouraged too. Boris has been leading by example with various photoshoots this week where he's been snapped jogging and cycling. The Joe Wicks of Westminster.
Biking in particular is being encouraged both as a healthy form of exercise and as an eco-friendly option that could supplant the car in the morning commute.
Except that there isn't actually a morning commute anymore since most people are still working from home.
Plus, what's the point of getting yourself beach body ready (to recall a contentious phrase) when you're banned from the beaches? The sun-drenched foreign ones anyway.
I think all of us would agree that a big health drive is no bad thing, it's long overdue, and in the current circumstances could be vital.
But there's a bit of a pick'n'mix approach to the Number 10 strategy.
And how will Stormont shape up to shaping us up?
Health Minister Robin Swann says that the Executive must "redouble efforts" to tackle the obesity issue.
It's the redoubling that's the problem. Lockdown, loss of earnings, stress, boredom and working from home in dangerously close proximity to the fridge - all of these things have added to the expansion of the nation's waistline. People are fed up. Now may not be the best time to try to persuade them to step away from the doughnuts.
It's good that politicians are finally doing something to tackle obesity.
But flattening our curves may be trickier than they think.
After a week of stressful headlines for the royals following the publication of excerpts from Finding Freedom, the book charting the martyrdom of Meghan and Harry, comes cheerier news on the family front.
The Duchess of York is to star in a new TV show called Dancing With Horses. I'm not making this up.
Celebrities will devise dance routines for their equine friends. The duchess will judge their efforts.
You can just imagine what the Duke of Edinburgh, not known to be a fan of Fergs, will make of this one.
She's an odd one, Fergie. Mad as a box of frogs, obviously. But she exudes an air of unputdownable jollity and optimism that's impressive.
She's the Duracell bunny of the extended House of Windsor. She just goes on and on and on.
Irritating, yes. But just unstoppable.
She's bounced back from the toe-sucking scandal and many and varied financial controversies and she continues to loyally and, some would say, inexplicably defend her ex Andrew amid allegations about his connections to the late paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
They seem to love her in America, where her new show will be aired on the Fox Network.
But would she be such a hot ticket without her Duchess handle?
Harry and Meghan have - quite rightly in my view - been criticised for clinging on to their royal titles despite their "progressive (ie, moneymaking) new role".
Fergie is no longer a working royal either. Hasn't been for yonks. But she continues to capitalise on her title too - and nobody seems to mind.
The most expensive bag ever in the history of expensive handbags sold at online auction fetched a cool £231,000 this week. The Hermes 'Himalaya' is made from the skin of a rare albino Nile crocodile. If it was made from the skin of a leopard it would rightly be decried. The poor oul' croc doesn't get the same sympathy. Why would anyone want to pay that price for a handbag anyway? To flaunt their wealth, of course. So much for the view that, post-Covid, people would recognise what was truly valuable in the world.
How is it possible to mislay 14,506 cows? That's the number which have gone AWOL in Northern Ireland over the last four years. To quote the UUP's agriculture spokeswoman Rosemary Barton MLA, it is an astonishing figure. And a worrying one. Some of the cows have obviously been stolen. Some, it's believed, have ended up in illegal abattoirs. You can imagine the conditions there, not least for the poor animals slaughtered within. The traceability system is vital to safe food and Ms Barton is right to be alarmed. We all should be.