Belfast Telegraph

Why Bob's foul-mouthed rant only highlights his snobbery and shows what a mega Rat he has become

By Lindy McDowell

Are you Brexit body ready? I only ask because, you will recall that, around this time last year, there was a massive hoo-ha over posters which had appeared in London Tube stations enquiring of passers-by, Are You Beach Body Ready?

The protein shake company concerned attracted much criticism (but also vast publicity and, inevitably, more sales) for daring to infer that there is only one type of body shape - honed and toned and slimline - which would be acceptable on the sun lounger.

This year the controversy centres not on whether you can get into your bikini or Speedos, but where you buy them.

For this twist in exclusionary, elitist thinking we must thank the artist formerly known as Saint.

Sir Bob of Geldof that is, who launched a bit of a wardrobe rant during his recent performance at a music festival in Brentwood.

Bob began, as he often does, by paying tribute to himself.

"We are the Boomtown Rats," he cried. "We are mega." And being the mega Boomtown Rats, he added (I am toning down the language here), "We don't do Robbie expletive Williams" (more's the pity some might say) and "We don't do expletive Abba."

That would be the same expletive Abba presumably, who, if they were to re-form, would certainly require a bigger stadium than the facilities available to Bob at Brentwood.

At this point, getting fully into his self-important stride, Bob began to castigate his audience for not being mega themselves. Nor indeed, sufficiently rock 'n' roll in concert attire for the Boomtown legends.

"How do we know that you are Brentwood and we are mega?" he cried.

Because he was wearing an eff-off pretend snakeskin suit, he said, and his band colleagues were wearing eff-off cowboy shirts.

"But you on the other hand, Brentwood, you are wearing wall-to-wall effing Primark."

Now there is some suggestion that His Bobness may have been trying to make some important point about conditions in factories which produce low cost clothing for the West (although Primark, it has to be said, has a better record than most here).

That's not the way it came over, however.

If Bob Geldof is associated with the word "mega" at all, in most people's minds that would be in the context of the description "mega rich". Or indeed, "mega mouthy".

Here's yet another rich celeb then, literally talking down to the masses from the rarefied level of a public stage and with a bank balance that can afford any amount of eff-off pretend snakeskin wear.

And he's getting snooty with the very people who have paid good money to see him, mocking the fact that they can only afford High Street clothing.

Bob treated fans to a bit of a traditional, additional rant both about Maggie (when will so-called liberals ever get over the Thatcher years?) and, needless to say, also Brexit.

Brexiteers wear Primark. That seemed to be a theme.

This is the same Bob Geldof who may well have swung votes towards the Leave camp after a stunt on the River Thames where he was seen making rude gestures to hard-working fishermen. Man of the people, it would be fair to say, he ain't.

For Sir Geldof, like so many other luvvies of his ilk, comes across as completely out of touch with the real world of Primark, cut-price, making do and savouring a bargain.

Otherwise, whatever worthy point he was trying to make at Brentwood, he would have realised those words he chose where not only contemptuous and nasty. They were also outrageously snobby. He sounds every bit as old fashioned snooty as a 1950s Tory party grandee. (His music is almost as dated.)

Sadly though, Bob is not alone in this. Sneering at what they regard as the plebs in Primark has become disturbingly mainstream. See also Twitter and Facebook.

Brexit body ready? As it turns out, dozens of festival-goers showed they were at Brentwood. They Brexited the festival in disgust at Bob.

Which just goes to underline how dated all that old eff-off snakeskin sneery stuff is these days. It's not mega, Bob. Nor are you.

You never were.

Why eating a banana will help you cheer up

Scientists say there may be something in an ancient belief that you can tell which plants benefit which part of your body by spotting the resemblance. Walnuts, for example, look like little brains. And guess what? Celery stalks, which you could say resembles bones, are good for bones. A slice of carrot when you squint at it a bit, does look like an eye (and benefits sight) and a banana which looks like a smile is a mood enhancer. The bad news. Sadly chips, which are long and thin, do not appear to work to the same principle.

Taking vetting to extreme could trap Trump

Extreme vetting. It sounds like a clamp down on domestic pets. But actually it’s Donald Trump’s latest wheeze  for keeping out of the US, people from countries which may have been “compromised by terrorism.”

So that’s me and you out then.

But will extreme vetting also apply to US citizens whose country, it would be fair to say, has itself been “compromised by terrorism”?

And, if it does and, say, Donald goes out, will they ever let him back in again?

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