Words I never thought Wayne Rooney would use ...
Like everyone else, I find myself shocked by the language Wayne "Effing" Rooney used the other day. Hard to believe he would come out with such stuff ...
So let's look at them again.
"I want to apologise for any offence that may have been caused by my goal celebration, especially to any parents or children that were watching. Emotions were running high and on reflection my heat of the moment reaction was inappropriate - it was not aimed at anyone in particular."
Come on. Whatever this is, this is not Rooney-speak. It's a guy in the PR department churning out standard apology stuff.
So does it actually mean anything?
Rooney has an obvious anger management problem and yelling bad words into a live mic is just a symptom of what opposing fans have long sussed is his great weakness. Wind him up and watch him go off on one.
Then again, Man U's problems with Rooney pale by comparison with Fulham's latest PR own goal. They've got a chairman, Mohamed al Fayed, who's told fans they can go to hell (or worse, Chelsea) if they don't appreciate his stadium art.
He's just installed a 7ft statue of his old pal Michael Jackson. We know it's Wacko because of the trademark sparkly glove. Actually, it looks more like a disturbing cross between Tom Jones and Rio Ferdinand. "If some stupid fans don't understand and appreciate such a gift this guy gave to the world, they can go to hell," says Mr al Fayed re criticism of his controversial installation.
Over to the Fulham PR team for reflection on that one, then.