Belfast Telegraph

At least Cheryl didn’t pay a visit to Dr Google

By Nuala McKeever

There’s only one thing worse than feeling unwell — and that’s feeling unwell while having access to the internet.

This week I learned why they say “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.”

I don’t mean if you have a proper illness, like Cheryl Cole and her malaria. I mean when you get something like a mysterious pain in your left hand. You go online and type “mysterious pain in left hand” into Google and hey presto, a whole new world opens up!

The good news is, you’re not the only person with that mysterious pain.

The bad news is, any query about symptoms attracts “answers” from hundreds of individuals, whose total lack of any medical qualifications doesn’t stop them flinging their opinions around like confetti.

These ill-informed, often illiterate doom merchants have got the stage and by God are they gonna enjoy putting the wind up you with horror stories.

“Pain in your hand? I had that AND a rash AND a strange bloating sensation AND dizziness AND a headache. The doctor couldn’t decide what was wrong with me “

No mate, the doctor knew rightly what was wrong with you, but it’s just not politically correct to say, “You are a self-obsessed Googleocondriacal nutcase, now get out of my surgery!”

When it comes to those pains and twinges, I say, if in doubt — stay that way.

Belfast Telegraph


From Belfast Telegraph