Belfast Telegraph

Don't exterminate them, give Daleks some TLC

By Robert McNeill

Unlike everyone else in the country, I've never been afraid of the Daleks.

I've encountered worse up town on a Friday night.

It always seemed to me you just had to get round behind your Dalek and topple him over. Sure, they might be kind of heavy but, if you'd a JCB on your person, you could manage it.

Alternatively, you could just get on a plane, as the dozy sods can only hover and suffer from a fatal lack of feet.

Still, a new Cambridge University study says we should feel sorry for the Daleks as they weren't always bad but had become "sexless, heartless brains, shut up in machines".

Fair enough.

But why keep trying to invade Earth?

Maybe they only want to loot Boots the Chemist and get lozenges for their rasping throats.

I can just see one of these sales girls asking if they had an Advantage card.

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