Belfast Telegraph

Happiness is ... tucking into a plate of chips

By Robert McNeil

News that a plate of chips can lift your mood has led to widespread expressions of relief among many leading citizens, with spontaneous outbreaks of dancing and celebration in several rural areas.



The latest intelligence comes from scientists, who emerged with smoke-covered faces from laboratories to announce: “The psychological data showed that participants who were feeling down felt better after eating chips.” They added: “It may be down to the biological effects of the nutritional components on brain chemistry.” Oh, spare us that cack.

The main thing is we can tuck in, knowing that we're enhancing our spiritual health, even as our waists expand exponentially. True, the study was commissioned by the controversial Potato Council, which may have a vested interest.

Also, the comestibles under advisement were chippie chips. There's no information on the spiritual effect of oven chips. But these are mere quibbles and should not stop citizens eating chips for happiness.

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