Look, this is an undead certainty
I've started watching Buffy (left). It's the latest thing on TV. After three episodes, my understanding is that it's about vampires. I got into it after discovering Firefly, by the same director (Joss Whedon).
It's the best television series in recent history. It came out in 2002. The series was so good it was scrapped by Fox - more useless, faceless executives with brains the size of a flea's eyeball - and a campaign remains active to have it resurrected.
All of which is mere preamble to the following announcement: I wish to talk to you about the undead. Yes, that shocked you.
I witter thus after zombies descended on the streets of Leicester, shambling along painfully and pressing their blood-stained faces against windows.
Their point? To prove that the council had no policy for countering precisely such an attack. Talk about elliptical logic.
At the time of going to press, Belfast City Council appears to have no anti-zombie policy either. Leicester's episode of undead daftness occurred after a mischievous Freedom of Information request asking what preparations the city had made for a zombie invasion.
When the council conceded it was ill-prepared, a campaign began on yon Facebook, and citizens dressed as zombies shambled forth to protest.
And they say street protest for worthy causes is dead.