Belfast Telegraph

Why does drink-addled Duff still look so good?

By Robert McNeill

Another celebrity-style rock star has fessed up to his booze habit and, boy, it's a doozie. Duff McKagan, former bassist with soul crooners Guns N' Roses, says he drank 10 bottles of wine a day - when he was trying to cut down.

How is this possible? I drank a teeny bit too much too regularly but, on a bad night, that was a bottle and a half of wine. True, once I drank a whole bottle of vodka but that was, like, the most ever. Duff says he drank a gallon of vodka a day, before switching to wine.

I hope this doesn't give young people ideas. These quantities are seriously outlandish and not really feasible for ordinary mortals. Mr McKagan also says he didn't drink water for 10 years, which is understandable, on account of it tasting rubbish. But you can add honey or lemon or ginger to it to make it palatable.

My intention is not to be judgmental in the case of Mr McKagan. But what obtains my goat is that, as is so often the case with reformed celebrity addicts, he looks great. How does medical science explain that? More importantly, why can't I look genteelly raddled like that, instead of rubicund and bloated, even when serially sober?

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