Will Holly ever dare to bare all?
One of the few good things about being male is that you don't have to get 'dolled up'.
I've heard of chaps applying 'guyliner', but only in London, where there is pressure on people to behave peculiarly.
Generally speaking, if going on a date or night out, it is enough for a man to blow his nose and scratch his scrotum. Then we're ready for the off.
But women, like TV presenter Holly Willoughby, have to spend hours in front of the mirror applying warpaint and mystical powders.
And it isn't just when they're going out to enjoy themselves. It also applies when going to work.
According to a top survey - generally preferable to bottom surveys - two thirds of women would be scared to go to work without several layers of greasepaint splashed about their coupons.
A third wouldn't even go to the gym without make-up.
Recently, I listened with incredulity as a woman of the female gender told me you could get eyeliner, eyebrows, lips and whatnot tattooed onto your phizog.
Is this legal? If so, sign me up for Sharon's Law, or whatever it is the Muslims have.
Make-up is effectively disguising yourself and men, it must be said, are simply too honest to go in for that sort of thing.