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Change of attitude needed on male domestic abuse

THERE was an item on the BBC news recently concerning helping women deal with abuse in the home.

As a man, I often feel ashamed that most of the abuse in our society seems to be done by other men. I would, however, like to point out that an increasing amount of abuse is being carried out by women.

I know a man who is presently being abused by his wife. His torture - and I have specifically chosen this word - is compounded by a great sense of isolation, due to the fact that abuse is thought to be the pastime of men only.

That is why posters offering help in an abusive situation, found in solicitor's offices and many other places, normally carry a picture of a woman. The text on such publications often declares: "We believe you". The picture, however, seems to add, "…but only if you are female".

Help people that are being abused and keep on opening centres where assistance may be given, but please stop assuming that all men are abusers and all women victims. This man's wife revels in the complete assurance that no one will think for a second that she is the vile abuser.

Please change your posters about abuse, but before that, change your mind and attitude about it as well.


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